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Shauna Klein – Static
Disaster – Terrorist Invasion
Location – Greenhouse
Helpful Item – Skateboard
Disability – Migraine Headache
Living in the country has its benefits. I get to enjoy fresh air and fresh food from my garden and to listen to the birds chirping. I even have a pretty big greenhouse that helps us during the winter. It’s just me, my husband and our dogs but we love it.
Everyone had been hearing on the news about nuclear strikes and threats from North Korea. Just like anything else, life goes on. You worry but you hope for the best. That day, my husband had headed into town to help out a friend with a car repair. I had the whole house to myself other than the dogs so I decided to head out to the greenhouse to check on the plants and to rinse off the skateboard we’d picked up for my nephews birthday.
I wouldn’t have had to clean it up if my husband hadn’t decided to act like he was the one with a 12th birthday party. Instead of wrapping it, he wanted to try it out first and ended up falling off. The skateboard flew off into the mud and my husband Rich had a bruised ego and a bruised ass to show for it. It was kind of funny but I was glad he didn’t get hurt.
Unfortunately, I had a splitting migraine. Not the kind that some have where you’re stuck in bed all day but just enough to make me irritable and angry at the world. Once I got done I figured I’d go lie down for a while.
As I was in the greenhouse, I heard something strange on the radio. The newscaster was saying something about an air invasion. I mean, really? What is this, Red Dawn? About that time I heard something.
It sounded like something big hit the side of a building; almost like a large truck or something. As I poked my head out the door I saw it – well, not it but them – it looked like guys with parachutes dropping in. I know, Red Dawn flashed through my head too. I wondered why the North Koreans would bother with my town anyway when I saw something strange. All of the “guys” dropping in had what looked to be old, torn clothing and what made absolutely no sense is that they were all black and white. I don’t mean their race either; everything about them was something out of an old movie. And they weren’t Korean at all.
Now when I was younger I though the world used to be in black and white because of the television shows but these things actually was. I actually closed my eyes a moment thinking I was dreaming or my migraine was actually some kind of brain tumor I hadn’t Googled yet and I was seeing hallucinations but nope, when I opened them again, the colorless sky droppers were still there and landing one after another. The noise I heard was them dropping to the ground. Every time one hit, the sound was enormous. It made no sense at all and I honestly thought I was losing it.
As I stood there staring at them, riveted in one spot – one of them spotted me. I mean they couldn’t have been more than 50 yards from me and like an idiot, instead of hiding I was staring at them like I’d seen a Martian. I might as well have because they made no sense at all. As this thing saw me he stopped and pointed, made some kind of noise that sounded like static and the others looked as well.
At that point I ran back inside of the greenhouse. Little good that would do me considering it’s a big building with glass walls. It’s not like I could hide and it’s not like I had any kind of weapon. Who brings a gun to a greenhouse?
As I tried to find somewhere to hide I noticed I still had the muddy skateboard in my hands. Lot of good that would do me but it’s the only thing I had and I held on to it like a lost kid with a teddy bear. I didn’t have a rake or any kind of weapon in there so all I could do is wait and pray.
As I stood there trembling, just about to pee myself one of them opened the door and stepped in. “Get away,” I yelled. He just stared and brought his gun up and pointed it at me. Oh, did I tell you they had guns too? Everything about them was like some kind of paratrooper but from an old black and white movie. He was about two feet away when I brought the skateboard back and hit him square in the face. He didn’t just fall over or anything, he static’d. It was like an old TV when you can’t find a station – horizontal lines and stuff. His gun went off and shot a burst of electricity into the air but fortunately it was pointing upwards or I might have been fried into a smoking piece of nothingness.
Although nothing made sense at all, the one guy just disappeared. I hit him, he turned into a TV station and poof, he was gone. Now this did nothing to the others except make them follow suit and start to come inside. There were about ten of them and oddly, I’d seen no plane or where they came from. It was like they dropped out of the sky on some kind of old-timey satellite feed from space. I have no idea why the skateboard vaporized the one but it was my only shot so I started swinging wildly. Of course my head was about to explode but obviously that nap would have to wait.
I hit one after the other, trying to make sure to stay out of the line of fire just in case another gun went off. When all was said and done there was nothing left. No old clothing, no guns, nothing; just me in a greenhouse with a muddy skateboard and a few fried plants.
I carefully stepped out of the greenhouse and saw nothing out of the ordinary. It was like it never happened. I headed back into the house and tried to call my husband but the cell phone wouldn’t get a signal. I tried the computer – nothing. . I turned on the TV to see if anything was going on but all that was on the TV was static, like an old TV from the 60’s. I tried flipping a few channels and found some live stations but all they were playing was I love Lucy. In fact, every channel I could get was playing old black and white shows. Odd huh? That’s when I saw her, Lucille Ball was in my kitchen baking a cake and all of the Little Rascals were at the table. At this point I knew I really needed that nap and besides, who doesn’t like cake?
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