Dating A Zombie
Movie review by C.A. Milson
Stars: Jack Abele, Claudia Andrejuk, Glenn Balli
Directed by: Jack Abele
IMDB Rating: N/A
Plot: Clarence operates a Zombie termination service in Zombie Town. Believing true love can never be found he feels no remorse when he dates Zombies. To him Zombies never complain, don’t nag or talk back and are extremely happy with the way you are. Of course Clarence’s biggest love interest is Princess Betty the owner of a pet cemetery now accepting humans at discount prices. In between his romances Clarence finds time to hunt and eliminate nuisance Zombies called A-Listers. This is a hobby he thoroughly enjoys because he gets to chop the Zombie bodies up in his kitchen and sell the meat as a sideline. The action and humor keep coming as Clarence and his assistant Doofus chase and “pop” Zombies while riding around in their golf cart. You just can’t have too many Zombies running around Zombie Town when the government keeps failing to pass a Zombie retirement plan!
IMDB Tagline: A Zombie Termination Specialist tries to find true love in Zombie Town
My Tagline: Carry On Zombies…
Review: I really do not know where to start on this. For one, I do enjoy a comedy horror/spoof if it is done right. Some films of the genre do seem to break the mold when it comes to defining comedy. Other films miss the mark completely. In this case, Abele has tried to shoot for a horror comedy and missed the whole meaning of the genre “comedy”.
The film starts off, in a town riddled with Zombies. It seems that from the premise of the film, some keep zombies as pets, others just dump off the recently deceased at a fly-by-night pet cemetery-cum –funeral home.
As the plot suggests, Clarence operates an extermination company, focusing on extermination of zombies at random, and trying to get laid with every woman he comes across, living or dead. In his spare time (which he seems to have a lot of) he delivers zombie meat in pizza boxes to unaffected humans (wouldn’t the meat be contaminated?), and again, off he goes to try and get laid, with cheesy one-liners that were taken from every bad pick-up line ever.
Romance? If one defines romance as a person desperate to get laid and carrying on like a testosterone filled teen with blue-ball syndrome, then this hit the mark with that. Other than that, this flick was absolute rubbish. I could feel myself slipping into a coma watching this.
The characters were very one-dimensional at best, the props (arms, legs, and whatever else) were very amateur, and the acting? The only thing I can say about the acting is that it was obvious that the actors had very little to go on, judging by how poor of a performance they were putting on.
This film could have been a lot better for the reportedly $85,000 they spent on production.
Verdict – Watch Evil Dead 3 instead
My Rating: -5 out of 10
C.A.Milson is an award winning horror author of 4 books (and counting); Founder of ASJ Publishing, and seldom film producer. He resides in Melbourne, Australia and likes to spend his time in his backyard hobbyfarm of 13 chooks, and draws inspiration from the horrors that lay in wait in the darkness. C.A.Milson can be found at: www.asjpublishing.com and: www.facebook.com/C.A.Milson.Author
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