Terror Trax: Harry Husbands

Late on a dark and stormy Friday evening, when I should have been at home cuddled up eating curds and whey and watching Tales from the Darkside, I was kidnapped from my hovel and taken to an undisclosed, grimy yet pleasantly scented location, where I was told that one Harry Husbands, international bearded man of minor notoriety, would be joining me shortly, at which time I would conduct an exhaustive yet informative interview to be submitted to the esteemed HorrorAddicts.net website. My blindfold was removed and I was given pen, personalized stationary, and a triple espresso. As is apparently his custom, Mr. Husbands arrived by helicopter three minutes early. I was delighted by his friendly demeanor and earthy charm, and he smelled like blueberry muffins, which are my favorite. After our conversation was concluded, I was knocked unconscious with a fossilized luffa and returned to my home. Two days later I discovered this transcription sitting on my desk. According to a note I wrote to myself in Pig Latin, it was typed while I was in a trance. My hopes are that you enjoy it as much as I hope I did! 


Dear Mr. Husbands, let me begin by saying what an inspiration you are to all of us here on planet Earth! Your music captures the yearning of the angels, lost amongst the cosmos, afraid to stop at the intergalactic Pump-n-Go to ask for directions, heading directly into an asteroid belt, then getting tangled in spider webs and waking up and realizing it was all just a terrible dream but still feeling relieved and hopeful that one day we can soar through the dark galaxy just like when we are safe inside the sonic bubble of your music!

– Bless you.

In your bio you state that you are a “full-time imbecile”. I myself once had aspirations of a career in the imbecilic arts but, after years of struggle, even with my Doctorate in Imbecilism, I was unable to find steady work and was forced to move into the much less prestigious field of puppet colonics. Please tell us; in such a highly competitive and cut-throat occupation, what is the secret to your success?

I didn’t have a choice. My Mum once told me, while ironing, not to put my hand on said iron because it would burn me, but I high-fived that steaming lump of metal like it had just won gold in the Olympics of removing difficult creases. And guess what? Correct, I got burnt. From that moment on, I knew I was destined to be an imbecile.

The instrumental track, “Bring This Hex”, is vastly different from the folky “Hey God!” Is there a certain style that you prefer?

It depends when you ask me. My wife calls me a ‘music slut’ because I have this tendency to become obsessed with a different band, artist, or style of music every month or so. There’s too much great stuff out there—in every genre—and it’s all more accessible than ever. So when I was really into comedy folk songs, I penned “Hey God!”, and when I couldn’t stop listening to horror soundtracks, I recorded “Bring This Hex”.

Does the writing of music support the writing of fiction and vice versa?

In the writing of lyrics, absolutely. Stories are everywhere in song (especially those smash hits from olden times when people would strum lutes and poop in the street) and many of my own favourite tunes tell a tale. The first scrappy and out-of-time collection of recordings I put together, in fact, was “Barry the Spider”—a concept album based on folklore from my insect upbringing. It tells the woes of Barry (May he rest in peace), the radioactive spider who once bit Peter Parker and subsequently created Spiderman. The newest album soon to drop from my head and onto the internet is also a story. It’s called “An Ant’s Dream” and details the hopes, love and loss of an ordinary worker ant. “An Ant’s Dream”, by the way, like all of my music, is free to listen to and download.

What attracts you to the macabre?

– Same as most other HorrorAddicts regulars, I suppose. As a child, I was intrigued by what frightened me; the fascination grew from there.

“Bring This Hex” sounds like it could be from the incidental score of a horror film. Do you have a favorite original horror film score?

– There are too many to name but I was heavily into Goblin’s “Suspiria” soundtrack when I put together “Bring This Hex”.

Who are your favorite composers and/or songwriters?

As per my ‘music slut’ tendencies, there’s an endless list, but Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Nick Cave, Tom Waits, and Alex Turner would be up there.

Do you have an all-time favorite horror book, and, if so, why is it your favorite?

– “The Exorcist” by William Peter Blatty is my favourite horror book because it’s still the scariest I’ve read. I was in my early teens when I first devoured it under the duvet with wide eyes. I’m still trying to find another novel that can keep me awake like “The Exorcist” did.

What are your goals as a horror writer and as a musician?

My intention is only to keep writing and keep playing/recording music. I do it for the joy and immediate satisfaction it gives me; anything that comes as a result is only a bonus.

Is it true that if your beard is fed after 7:32 p.m., it will turn into a bloodthirsty Justin Bieber fan and go on an all-night killing spree?

No, that’s absurd, it’s after 7:30 p.m., and any atrocities carried out in my beard’s name are pure rumour. It does nothing more than keep entirely to itself and listen to Bieber’s discography while crying into chocolate ice-cream and repeatedly refreshing his Twitter page.

How do you respond to the rumor that there are clones of you impersonating government agents in several undisclosed locations and that said clones are on top secret missions of grave national importance and that there are also clones of clones in case the original clones are discovered?

– If there are clones of me out there, I doubt very much they would be trusted with anything of any importance whatsoever. I imagine instead they would be fulfilling their full potential as no good layabouts. And also, where’s my clone? I mean, I’m here mowing my own damn lawn and washing my own dishes like a sucker.

Do the clones also play guitar?

– It would be nice to think there are other versions of me out there irritating everyone in the surrounding area with bad versions of Jimmy Page solos.

Does that last question validate the rumor of the existence of the clones?

– No, it has only served in making me ponder this whole clone situation for longer than I should have.

Who is the real Harry Husbands?

– Go to your town/city centre. Find a spot where a pigeon has defecated on top of an older, drier piece of pigeon shit. That is the real Harry Husbands.

Please provide a general response to the statement, “Hey, that doesn’t go there.”

– Then why does it taste like it should?

The people of planet Earth, and me, thank you for your bravery and for your time to answer these few questions!

– You’re most welcome. Thank you for this awesome interview.

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