Book Birthday: Horror Addicts Guide to Life – Available now!

FinalFrontCover

Published by Horroraddicts.net April 3, 2015

Horror Addicts Guide to Life

Available now! 

Cover art by: Masloski Carmen

Editor: David Watson

Do you love the horror genre? Do you look at horror as a lifestyle? Do the “norms” not understand your love of the macabre?

Despair no longer, my friend, for within your grasp is a book written by those who look at horror as a way of life, just like you. This is your guide to living a horrifying existence. Featuring interviews with Midnight Syndicate, Valentine Wolfe, and The Gothic Tea Society.

Authors: Kristin Battestella, Mimielle, Emerian Rich, Dan Shaurette, Steven Rose Jr., Garth von Buchholz, H.E. Roulo, Sparky Lee Anderson, Mary Abshire, Chantal Boudreau, Jeff Carlson, Catt Dahman, Dean Farnell, Sandra Harris, Willo Hausman, Laurel Anne Hill, Sapphire Neal, James Newman, Loren Rhoads, Chris Ringler, Jessica Robinson, Eden Royce, Sumiko Saulson, Patricia Santos Marcantonio, J. Malcolm Stewart, Stoneslide Corrective, Mimi A.Williams, and Ron Vitale. With art by Carmen Masloski and Lnoir.

Kill Switch: An Overview

KSssALT

During the early months of 2018, Emerian Rich and Dan Shaurette began brainstorming the theme of the next HorrorAddicts.net anthology. Dan approached Emz with an interesting idea. He wanted to create an anthology inspired by Tech Horror, something like the NETFLIX television show, Black Mirror. The prospect excited Emz. All they needed was a name.

They came up with several during the coming weeks. Everything from Glitched, to Future Dark to Kernel Panic to Digital Dread. Nothing clicked until January 19, 2018.

Dan: Kill Switch?

Emz: That’s it!

And, Kill Switch was born.

Dan chose the Vampire/Android cover and the submission call went out. Authors responded to the theme and the submissions began to roll in. Everything went smoothly until Father’s Day, 2018. That was the day Dan suffered a medical emergency. He would survive but he wouldn’t finish the anthology.

Emz was torn. She didn’t know whether to shelve the book or not. After weighing the pros and cons, a single thought came to her mind. What would Dan do? The answer was simple. He would press on.

That’s where I came into the picture. I’d joined HorrorAddicts.net as an interviewer, reviewer, and publishing assistant just a few months before. As Emz took over editing the anthology, I stepped in as Head of Publishing. We assembled a submissions team with Laura Perkins and J. Malcolm Stewart (followed later by Kate Nox and Cedar George) and went right to work.

A month passed as the team sifted through manuscripts looking for technical gems to fill the pages of the anthology. In the end, they decided on thirteen stories. The authors were notified and the anthology announced. Phase one was complete.

Several months of formatting and editing followed. We worked hard on every story, cutting and polishing the technical gems until they were perfect diamonds. At last, on May 9, Kill Switch was ready for the world.

And so, with pride and a deep sense of accomplishment, HorrorAddicts.net presents to you… 

KILL SWITCH

Edited by DAN SHAURETTE and EMERIAN RICH

With stories by:

DANA HAMMER / MOW-BOT

Mike’s new Mow-Bot is the answer to his weekend chore dreams until the neighbor’s cat disappears.

TIM O’NEAL / REMS

A doctor eager for publication and fame unethically tests a wound debridement technology with disastrous results.

NACHING T. KASSA / PHANTOM CALLER

An elderly woman enlists the aid of two repairmen when her pest elimination program goes haywire and begins attracting ghosts.

EMERIAN RICH / SOULTAKER 2.0

A game programmer in the final stages of launching a new version of the MMORPG “SoulTaker,” finds a bug even he can’t fix.

DAPHNE STRASERT / IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

Daemon is willing to do whatever it takes to get the girl of his dreams and if his Iriz eye implant can help him do that, he doesn’t care what else it does.

GARTH VON BUCHHOLZ  / HAÜS

A five-year-old boy is left home alone while his parents travel overseas, but his smart-house will keep him safe, right?

JERRY J. DAVIS / TRAVELS

In a near future world where viewers are addicted to a television station featuring a hypnotically seductive sphere bouncing on an endless, surreal journey through unspoiled natural environments, Dodd is the only one who is “awake” enough to fight back.

GARRETT ROWLAN / GO GENTLY

In a future world where no one except fake grandparents live past the age of 65, Enid needs to land the job that will save her life, but a trip down memory lane may prove more difficult than she expects.

CHANTAL BOUDREAU / STRANGE MUSIC

An audio-sensitive college student is the only one who can hear the difference in a mechanical birdsong that attacks her little sister.

H.E. ROULO / ANGELS DON’T FEAR HEIGHTS

A man uses technology to control his daughter from beyond the grave, will she ever be free?

BILL DAVIDSON / INTELLIGENIE

A terminally ill woman discovers a frightening secret when she issues a deadly order to her personal robot.

LAUREL ANNE HILL / 13TH MAGGOT

A scientist working with bioengineered medical maggots fails to document her obvious erroneous observation, only to later realize her horrific mistake.

PHILLIP T. STEPHENS / SUBROUTINES

A computer programmer looking for his missing children in a legendary ghost house encounters a malevolent AI.

And, though I’ve stepped in as Head of Publishing, I could never fill Dan’s shoes. With much love, we dedicate this book to you, Dan. Thank you. We hope you enjoy it.

00110100 00100000 01000100 01100001 01101110

4 DAN

 

 

Kill Switch Chilling Chat: 10 Quick Questions with Chantal Boudreau

KSssALT

Chantal Boudreau is a speculative fiction writer from Sambro, Nova Scotia with a focus in horror and fantasy. She has published in Canada in the anthologies Tesseracts 20, Dead Chantal BoudreauNorth, Clockwork Canada, and Chillers from the Rock, amongst others.  Outside of Canada, she has published more than fifty stories.

1.) How old were you when you first discovered horror? 

I was aware of horror from a young age.  I always enjoyed scary stories as a child, and I remember watching Tales of the Unexpected and reading horror comics when I was still in elementary school.  I started reading my sister’s horror novels as a pre-teen, which is also when I got to first see the original Dawn of the Dead.  I was hooked from then on.

2.) What author has influenced you most?

I can’t say it was one author.  When it comes to horror it would be a mixture of Tanith Lee, Stephen King, and Fredric Brown, primarily, but there were many other influences.

3.) What inspired you to write your piece, “Strange Music?”

Waiting for the bus one day, I heard a familiar birdsong that was just a little “off.”  My imagination grabbed the moment and ran with it.

4.) How much control do you exert over your characters? Do they have free will?

I start off giving them traits and thoughts, directing them into the plot, but after a certain point they develop to a point of realism where they start doing their own thing.

5.) Do you listen to music when you write? Who do you listen to?

Yes-I listen to a lot of alternative rock, Finger Eleven, Linkin Park, 30 Seconds to Mars, etc., and some darker pop-Peter Gabriel, Pink, and Billie Eilish, for example.

6.) Where do you find inspiration? 

Everywhere-things friends or family say, experiences from my past, my own worries and fears, something I see or hear that happens to spark my imagination.

7.) What is your favorite horror novel?

I’d have to say Stephen King’s It.

KSCoverSmall8.) Favorite horror movie?

That one’s harder.  I love the classics, like George Romero’s zombie movies, and modern horror like Get Out but I’d have to say the one I found the most visceral and sensory was Perfume.

9.) Favorite horror television show?

I was a fan of Z Nation, despite its camp, and sad that it was canceled.  I’d say my favourite right now is Santa Clarita Diet-it is quirky, gross and fun.

10.) What does the future hold for you? What do we have to look forward to?

I’ll just look into my crystal ball…seriously, I have no clue.  I keep putting something out there and hoping things will stick.  I’ll keep writing and I’ll keep dreaming.

Addicts, you can find Chantal on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Contest

Recently in the HorrorAddicts.net Facebook Group, we asked people to come up with a 100 word story for the pictures below. The original idea was to put up the best stories that were submitted for each picture but for the second picture I liked each story so much I just decided to include them all. If you have a 100 word story for one of the pictures below please share it in the comments:

All three pictures were provided by Murdo Morrison, author of Roses Of Winter and The Taste Of Dust. You can find out more about Murdo by visiting his website: http://www.murdomorrison.com/.

unnamed

About this picture Murdo writes: “With Halloween coming up I thought you might like to see this image. A couple of years back my son created this stack of carved pumpkins. I processed the image to make it more Halloweeny.”

Little Johnny loved everything about Halloween. The only other thing he loved as much was rooting for the Indians when he watched old western movies, dreaming of living in a teepee and smoking a peace pipe with the chief.

When Halloween came around, Johnny looked at all the carved pumpkins on his neighbor’s doorsteps and decided there was something he just had to do. He waited until late, after trick or treating, when everyone had gone to bed, then sneaked out of his room. He closed the front door quietly as he went outside into the peaceful darkness of spent Halloween night.

He collected the best of the carved pumpkins that hadn’t been destroyed by careless footsteps and stacked them to make his very own totem pole. Johnny danced around his pumpkin totem pole like he had seen Indians do on television until he became tired. Then he crept back inside and slipped back into bed, unknowing of the magic he had performed.

The spirit of the pumpkin gods awakened…

Jaq D Hawkins

http://jaqdhawkins.co.uk/

http://jaqdhawkins.com/

unnamed-1

About this picture Murdo writes: “I captured an image of a rather eerie looking sky this weekend. It has a certain Halloween feel to it. I’m sending you a couple of versions. If you want to use it for any of your projects you are certainly welcome to do so. Also, I can process this in different ways to achieve a range of effects.”

In a dark clearing, wearing purple robes before a flickering fire, they summoned him, obscenely ignorant of the greatness they invited. He spread throughout the word, vast and diffuse. Even the humans who called saw only the natural world, and did not know to cower. Clouds formed the vertebrae of his spine. Bare trees stretched and creaked in imitation of his tendons. His powers came as acts of god, though he hadn’t been called such in eons.
They could not comprehend all he encompassed and know his nature; a pity, because he knew theirs.

H.E. Roulo

http://www.heroulo.com/

I called them dusts because we didn’t know exactly what they were or where they had come from. That’s the name I chose to give to the powdery gray substance that filled the air whenever there was anything more than a stiff breeze. The dusts brought with them death, death to everything, the no-wings included. They had died in droves however, from a sickness that seemed to target them specifically, while many of us had survived initially. The coming of the dusts had killed other things too, my kind included, but we didn’t die as quickly.

Chantal Boudreau

https://chantellyb.wordpress.com/

The spirit floated on the solar wind, directing its energy towards the inhabited planet. It touched the atmosphere, creating ripples in the cloud cover that diffused the light of the shining Moon, the spirit’s origin.

The night found many humans sleeping, yet others moved among the darkened streets, either grateful or thwarted by the illumination of the Moon’s full face. The spirit listened to the thoughts of these night dwellers and despaired for the message of love it had brought, reading in the hearts of men intentions to gain by the misfortune of others of their kind.

Then one couple, radiating with thoughts of love commanded the spirit’s attention and hope was regained.

It is for you, the spirit whispered through the wind, that I will bring magic to your species. Thus did the spirit endow the loving couple with power, blessing the inhabited planet with the first magicians.

Jaq D. Hawkins

http://jaqdhawkins.co.uk/

http://jaqdhawkins.com/

reflections-2-rev

About this picture Murdo writes: “I thought you might like this image. It is actually the daytime sky reflected off a dark portion of a lake but it reminds me of outer space and galaxies. If you have a use for it go ahead. ”

Clayton stretched and stood up, walking over to his window. He glanced at the courtyard below, illuminated by the moon’s silvery light. The blond Renegade leaned up against the windowsill and stared up at the moon, aglow in the night. This was the particular image that was the trigger. There was often a trigger. It had set off his precognitive abilities. There was something about that full moon that had let him know he had to be ready. Things were going to start happening very soon.

“Soon,” he whispered, breathing in deeply.

Chantal Boudreau

https://chantellyb.wordpress.com/

 

Once Upon a Scream Special Edition Pack

HorrorAddicts.net Press is proud to announce that we have special edition favor packs for our 4th anthology entitled Once Upon a Scream. This book is edited by Dan Shaurette and it takes the classic fairy tales that you grew up with and gives them a horror twist.

ORDER NOW and get:

favor set

18-PIECE FAVOR PACK
display box not included.

  • Once Upon a Scream book

  • 18-piece special edition favor pack!

  • Signatures of the authors inside including: Emerian Rich, Dan Shaurette, Laurel Anne Hill, J. Malcolm Stewart, and Shannon Lawrence

While supplies last!

btn_buynowCC_LG

$15.00 USD gets you the book, favor pack, and includes shipping and handling inside the continental US.
For foreign orders, please email for shipping costs.

  ********************************

OnceUponAScreamFront Once Upon a Scream

…there was a tradition of telling tales with elements of the fantastic along with the frightful. Adults and children alike took heed not to go into the deep, dark woods, treat a stranger poorly, or make a deal with someone-or something-without regard for the consequences. Be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it.

From wish-granting trolls, to plague curses, and evil enchantresses, these tales will have you hiding under the covers in hopes they don’t find you. So lock your doors, shutter your windows, and get ready to SCREAM.

A return to darker foreboding fairy tales not for children.
Not everyone lives happily ever after.

 

HorrorAddicts.net Press

Once Upon a Scream Author Spotlight: Chantal Boudreau

Horroraddicts.net publishing has recently published our 4th anthology called Once Upon a ScreamRemember the Fairy tales that you grew up reading? Well they are back again with a horror twist. Once Upon a Scream includes 18 tales that are fantastic and frightful. One of the authors in this anthology is Chantal Boudreau and recently talked to us about her writing:

What is your story in Once Upon A Scream called and what is it about?

OnceUponAScreamFrontMy story is called “Without Family Ties” and it’s about a man who sees his family line coming to end, so he uses ritual magic to try to preserve it, with unpleasant consequences.

What inspired the idea?

I wanted to write something with a theme similar to Pinocchio, yet having a sinister, modern flavour. I decided to research ritual dolls and fertility magic, and the results inspired my story.

When did you start writing?

I’ve been writing since I could read. I won prizes for my stories in junior high and high school, so I kept at, but I’ve only been working to get published for the last six years.

What are your favorite topics to write about?

I’m a speculative fiction writer at heart, and I lean towards the dark and edgy. I enjoy multi-layered flawed characters and reluctant heroes – someone to whom the reader might be able to relate

What are some of your influences?

One of my bigger influences was Tanith Lee. I loved her Red as Blood story collection, which had10792270 horror and dark fantasy fairy tale mash-ups. I’m also a fan of a variety of mythological and traditional tales. They are the foundation of today’s speculative fiction.

What do you find fascinating about the horror genre?

Horror is cathartic. It generates negative emotion – fear, anger, sadness, disgust – but when you’re done reading, you get to leave all that behind. You get the relief of knowing none of it was real and you can look at reality in a more positive light.

What are some of the works you have available?

I’ve published several dozen works, including novels, most of which are now out of print. But there are still quite a few anthologies out there with my stories in them, like the Deathlehem trilogy, Dead North and other zombie anthologies, and My Favorite Apocalypse. There are even some non-fiction collections containing articles by me, such as Horror Addicts Guide to Life.

13371591What are you currently working on?

I’ve been working mostly on short fiction lately.  My current work-in-progress is a horror tale called The Reluctant Collector about a debt collector who hates his job to begin with and then ends up cursed to despise it, and one of his co-workers in particular, even more.  It drives him past the breaking point, and chaos ensues.

Where can we find you online?

Links:

Website: Website

Facebook: Facebook

Amazon Author Page: Amazon Author Page

Twitter: Twitter

Scribd.com: Scribd.com

Goodreads Author Page: Goodreads

Once Upon a Scream now on Kindle!

HorrorAddicts.net Press is proud to announce that our 4th anthology entitled Once Upon a Scream is now on Kindle! This book is edited by Dan Shaurette and it takes the classic fairy tales that you grew up with and gives them a horror twist.

Once Upon a Scream

OnceUponAScreamFront…there was a tradition of telling tales with elements of the fantastic along with the frightful. Adults and children alike took heed not to go into the deep, dark woods, treat a stranger poorly, or make a deal with someone-or something-without regard for the consequences. Be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it.

From wish-granting trolls, to plague curses, and evil enchantresses, these tales will have you hiding under the covers in hopes they don’t find you. So lock your doors, shutter your windows, and get ready to SCREAM.

A return to darker foreboding fairy tales not for children.
Not everyone lives happily ever after.

Stories include:

“The Black Undeath” by Shannon Lawrence: There was a plague no one speaks about, one much worse than the Black Death. “The Black Undeath” combines the ravages of the plague and leprosy with the tale of Rumpelstiltskin.

Shannon Lawrence is  a fan of all things fantastical and frightening, Shannon Lawrence writes primarily horror and fantasy,  You can find her at thewarriormuse.com

“Melody of Bones” by Nickie Jamison:  This is a delightful mashup of the German tales of the “Singing Bone” and “The Pied Piper of Hamlin.” Death can make beautiful music.

Nickie Jamison’s erotic fiction has been published in the Coming Together Among the Stars and the Coming Together Outside the Box anthologies.

“The Godmother’s Bargain” by Alison McBain: This story is based on Cinderella but instead of relying on a fairy godmother, Cinderella makes a deal with the devil.

Alison McBain  has over thirty publications in magazines and anthologies. You can read her blog at alisonmcbain.com

“Leila” by Dan Shaurette: This is a story about vampires and an old witch that lives in a haunted forest in a far away land.

Dan Shaurette is a goth-geek from Phoenix, AZ and he is the writer of  Black Magic and
Black Jack, you can visit him at: MattBlackBooks.com

“Nothing to Worry About” by Charles Frierman: Nothing killed Old Smelty, don’t let it kill you too.

Charles Frierman is  works as a children’s storyteller at the local library, but writing has always been
his passion.

“The Cursed Child” by C.S. Kane: Witches do what they must to save a child.

C.S. Kane’s debut horror novella, Shattered is out now. You can find out more about her at: http://www.cskane.com/

“The Healer’s Gift” by Lynn McSweeney: A pale boy with a whiff of the uncanny begs admission to a wounded healer’s cottage just before sunrise, conjuring her darkest fears of who – or what – he may be.

Lynn McSweeney writes mostly horror, fantasy, and science-fiction, or a blend of them, with an occasional foray into erotica.

“Briar” by K.L. Wallis: “Briar” is the story of a man who is lost deep in a mythical Black Forest, where he stumbles upon an abandoned fairy-tale palace with a forgotten sleeping beauty

K.L. Wallis  writes gothic fiction, high fantasy, mythological fiction, and
contemporary folk-lore you can find her at: https://restrictedquill.wordpress.com

“Curse of the Elves” by Sara E. Lundberg: This story gives a horrifying spin on the old tale “The Shoemaker and the Elves.” What if the elves were grotesque murderers and you wanted them to go away.

Sara E. Lundberg  writes and edits primarily fantasy and horror. She is also an editor and contributor for the Confabulator Cafe. You can find her online at SELundberg.com

“Lake Tiveden” by MD Maurice: The modern retelling of the legend of Tiveden and the epic encounter between a fisherman, his daughter and the fearsome Nokken.

MD Maurice has been writing and publishing erotic, Dark Fantasy and mainstream fiction since early 2001. She has been previously published in several print anthologies

“Wax Shadow” by Emerian Rich: Horror fairytale modern retelling of “The Shadow” by Hans Christian Andersen.

Emerian Rich is the author of the vampire book series, Night’s Knights, and Artistic License. You can find her at: http://emzbox.com/

“Without Family Ties” by Chantal Boudreau: This is a modern horror tale based on the story of Pinocchio.

Chantal Boudreau is a  member of the Horror Writers Association, she writes and illustrates horror, dark fantasy and fantasy. You can find her at: http://chantellyb.wordpress.com

“Commanding the Stones” by Laurel Anne Hill: A murder, a troubled marriage, a mysterious benefactor and a Russian fairy tale add up to terror and redemption in the sewers of Paris.

Laurel Anne Hill’s award-winning novel, Heroes Arise, was published by KOMENAR in 2007. You can find her at: http://www.laurelannehill.com/

“Gollewon Ellee” by DJ Tyrer: Two young girls follow the Gollewon Ellee, Fairy Lights, and discover that not only are the Fair Folk real, they are stranger and more sinister than they imagined.

DJ Tyrer is the person behind Atlantean Publishing and has been widely published in anthologies and magazines in the UK, USA and elsewhere His website is: http://djtyrer.blogspot.co.uk/

“Mr. Shingles” by J. Malcolm Stewart: Bay Area boys meeting with a certain rhyming troll who may or may not still be living under the Carquinez Bridge.

J. Malcolm Stewart is a Northern California-based author, journalist and marketing professional. He is the author of several novels and short story collections. http://about.me/jaymal

“The Boy and His Teeth” by V. E. Battaglia: A cautionary tale against deceiving the Tooth Fairy.

V. E. Battaglia is primarily writes Science Fiction and Horror. His work can be found in the Zen of the Dead anthology from Popcorn Press and in the SNAFU: Hunters anthology.

“The Other Daughter” by Adam L. Bealby: It’s nice to see Hannah looking her old self, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. The problem is Hannah – the real Hannah – with her black nails and even blacker attitude, she’s already upstairs…

Adam L. Bealby writes weird fiction leaning heavily into fantasy, horror and arch satire. He dabbles in stories for children too. His short stories and comic work have been published in numerous anthologies. Find him at: @adamskilad

“Old and in the Way” by Wayne Faust: Atmospheric tale about an old man who can no longer do his duty.

Wayne Faust has been a full time music and comedy performer for over 40 years. While on the road performing he also writes fiction. You can find him at: www.waynefaust.com

HorrorAddicts.net Press

Press Release: Once Upon a Scream

HorrorAddicts.net Press is proud to announce that we have just released our 4th anthology entitled Once Upon a Scream. This book is edited by Dan Shaurette and it takes the classic fairy tales that you grew up with and gives them a horror twist.

Once Upon a Scream

OnceUponAScreamFront…there was a tradition of telling tales with elements of the fantastic along with the frightful. Adults and children alike took heed not to go into the deep, dark woods, treat a stranger poorly, or make a deal with someone-or something-without regard for the consequences. Be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it.

From wish-granting trolls, to plague curses, and evil enchantresses, these tales will have you hiding under the covers in hopes they don’t find you. So lock your doors, shutter your windows, and get ready to SCREAM.

A return to darker foreboding fairy tales not for children.
Not everyone lives happily ever after.

Stories include:

“The Black Undeath” by Shannon Lawrence: There was a plague no one speaks about, one much worse than the Black Death. “The Black Undeath” combines the ravages of the plague and leprosy with the tale of Rumpelstiltskin.

Shannon Lawrence is  a fan of all things fantastical and frightening, Shannon Lawrence writes primarily horror and fantasy,  You can find her at thewarriormuse.com

“Melody of Bones” by Nickie Jamison:  This is a delightful mashup of the German tales of the “Singing Bone” and “The Pied Piper of Hamlin.” Death can make beautiful music.

Nickie Jamison’s erotic fiction has been published in the Coming Together Among the Stars and the Coming Together Outside the Box anthologies.

“The Godmother’s Bargain” by Alison McBain: This story is based on Cinderella but instead of relying on a fairy godmother, Cinderella makes a deal with the devil.

Alison McBain  has over thirty publications in magazines and anthologies. You can read her blog at alisonmcbain.com

“Leila” by Dan Shaurette: This is a story about vampires and an old witch that lives in a haunted forest in a far away land.

Dan Shaurette is a goth-geek from Phoenix, AZ and he is the writer of  Black Magic and
Black Jack, you can visit him at: MattBlackBooks.com

“Nothing to Worry About” by Charles Frierman: Nothing killed Old Smelty, don’t let it kill you too.

Charles Frierman is  works as a children’s storyteller at the local library, but writing has always been
his passion.

“The Cursed Child” by C.S. Kane: Witches do what they must to save a child.

C.S. Kane’s debut horror novella, Shattered is out now. You can find out more about her at: http://www.cskane.com/

“The Healer’s Gift” by Lynn McSweeney: A pale boy with a whiff of the uncanny begs admission to a wounded healer’s cottage just before sunrise, conjuring her darkest fears of who – or what – he may be.

Lynn McSweeney writes mostly horror, fantasy, and science-fiction, or a blend of them, with an occasional foray into erotica.

“Briar” by K.L. Wallis: “Briar” is the story of a man who is lost deep in a mythical Black Forest, where he stumbles upon an abandoned fairy-tale palace with a forgotten sleeping beauty

K.L. Wallis  writes gothic fiction, high fantasy, mythological fiction, and
contemporary folk-lore you can find her at: https://restrictedquill.wordpress.com

“Curse of the Elves” by Sara E. Lundberg: This story gives a horrifying spin on the old tale “The Shoemaker and the Elves.” What if the elves were grotesque murderers and you wanted them to go away.

Sara E. Lundberg  writes and edits primarily fantasy and horror. She is also an editor and contributor for the Confabulator Cafe. You can find her online at SELundberg.com

“Lake Tiveden” by MD Maurice: The modern retelling of the legend of Tiveden and the epic encounter between a fisherman, his daughter and the fearsome Nokken.

MD Maurice has been writing and publishing erotic, Dark Fantasy and mainstream fiction since early 2001. She has been previously published in several print anthologies

“Wax Shadow” by Emerian Rich: Horror fairytale modern retelling of “The Shadow” by Hans Christian Andersen.

Emerian Rich is the author of the vampire book series, Night’s Knights, and Artistic License. You can find her at: http://emzbox.com/

“Without Family Ties” by Chantal Boudreau: This is a modern horror tale based on the story of Pinocchio.

Chantal Boudreau is a  member of the Horror Writers Association, she writes and illustrates horror, dark fantasy and fantasy. You can find her at: http://chantellyb.wordpress.com

“Commanding the Stones” by Laurel Anne Hill: A murder, a troubled marriage, a mysterious benefactor and a Russian fairy tale add up to terror and redemption in the sewers of Paris.

Laurel Anne Hill’s award-winning novel, Heroes Arise, was published by KOMENAR in 2007. You can find her at: http://www.laurelannehill.com/

“Gollewon Ellee” by DJ Tyrer: Two young girls follow the Gollewon Ellee, Fairy Lights, and discover that not only are the Fair Folk real, they are stranger and more sinister than they imagined.

DJ Tyrer is the person behind Atlantean Publishing and has been widely published in anthologies and magazines in the UK, USA and elsewhere His website is: http://djtyrer.blogspot.co.uk/

“Mr. Shingles” by J. Malcolm Stewart: Bay Area boys meeting with a certain rhyming troll who may or may not still be living under the Carquinez Bridge.

J. Malcolm Stewart is a Northern California-based author, journalist and marketing professional. He is the author of several novels and short story collections. http://about.me/jaymal

“The Boy and His Teeth” by V. E. Battaglia: A cautionary tale against deceiving the Tooth Fairy.

V. E. Battaglia is primarily writes Science Fiction and Horror. His work can be found in the Zen of the Dead anthology from Popcorn Press and in the SNAFU: Hunters anthology.

“The Other Daughter” by Adam L. Bealby: It’s nice to see Hannah looking her old self, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. The problem is Hannah – the real Hannah – with her black nails and even blacker attitude, she’s already upstairs…

Adam L. Bealby writes weird fiction leaning heavily into fantasy, horror and arch satire. He dabbles in stories for children too. His short stories and comic work have been published in numerous anthologies. Find him at: @adamskilad

“Old and in the Way” by Wayne Faust: Atmospheric tale about an old man who can no longer do his duty.

Wayne Faust has been a full time music and comedy performer for over 40 years. While on the road performing he also writes fiction. You can find him at: www.waynefaust.com

HorrorAddicts.net Press

HorrorAddicts.net 116, Kristin Battestella

ha-tag

Horror Addicts Episode# 116

Horror Hostess: Emerian Rich

Intro Music by: Valentine Wolfe

kristin battestella | new years day | only lovers left alive

Find all articles and interviews at: http://www.horroraddicts.net

111 days till halloween

jenn vix, andy anderson, cure, halloween costumes, baycon, san mateo county fair, facebook quizzes, addicts on the street, sumiko saulson, anne rice, christopher rice, supernatural, mad max, wicked women writers challenge, master of macabre contest, dungeon san francisco, where’s jack?, jack the ripper, matt gunter, spooky, entertainment, sam roberts, torture room, history of san francisco, gold miner, murder, terry west, turning face, horror addicts guide to life, james newman, pembroke sinclair, chantal boudreau, consumed, d.j pitsiladis, t.s.charles, david watson, shadylight, kimberley steele, suicide forest, jeremy bates, belfry network, cemetary confessions, the count, morbid meals, dan shaurette, blood black truffles, lovers tarot, sparky lee anderson, allure of horror, lovecraft, new years day, dawn wood, c.a. milson, defago, horror music, jesse orr, grant me serenity, paul, satan, black jack, sandra harris, kbatz, only lovers left alive, marc advice, sarah, ventriloquists, dummies, dolls, possessed, kristin battestella, fates and fangs, vampire, novella, series.

Horror Addicts Guide to Life now available on Amazon!
http://www.amazon.com/Horror-Addicts-Guide-Life-Emerian/dp/1508772525/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1428730091&sr=8-1&keywords=horror+addicts+guide+to+life

HorrorAddicts.net blog Kindle syndicated

http://www.amazon.com/HorrorAddicts-net/dp/B004IEA48W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431022701&sr=8-1&keywords=horroraddicts.net

———————–

Write in re: ideas, questions, opinions, horror cartoons, favorite movies, etc…

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE MMM / WWW contestant.

horroraddicts@gmail.com

————————

h o s t e s s

Emerian Rich

s t a f f

David Watson, Dan Shaurette, Marc Vale, KBatz (Kristin Battestella), Mimielle, Dawn Wood, Lillian Csernica, Killion Slade, D.J. Pitsiladis, Jesse Orr, A.D. Vick

Want to be a part of the HA staff? Email horroraddicts@gmail.com

b l o g  / c o n t a c t / s h o w . n o t e s

http://www.horroraddicts.net

 

Horror Addicts Guide to Life Author Spotlight: Chantal Boudreau

12634232Chantal Boudreau writes fantasy and horror. She has several novels out and has been included in several anthologies. For Horror Addicts Guide To Life  Chantal wrote two articles.  One was “Hosting A Creepy Crawly Party” which will tell you everything you need to know about having a horror themed party. The other article is called “Bedtime…Horror Addicts Style” which will make going to bed a little scarier and more enjoyable. To read Chantal’s articles along with several other articles on living the horror lifestyle, pick up a copy of Horror Addicts Guide To LifeRecently Chantal was nice enough to tell us what she likes about horror:

What do you like about the horror genre?

I like the dark aspect to the genre. The fear is cathartic. It’s also one of the speculative genres that lends itself well to realism. Monsters don’t have to be supernatural. There are things out there in everyday life that can generate plenty of horror.

What are some of your favorite horror movies, books or TV shows?

I’m a fan of anything zombie so I love Romero movies and The Walking Dead. I also enjoy anthology series like The Twilight Zone and psychological horror flicks. I’m an avid reader with a penchant for short stories, so I like horror collections. I don’t have one particular favourite author but I have a real affinity for Tanith Lee and Fredric Brown.

In what way do you live the horror lifestyle?10792270

I have to laugh at that one because most of the time I’m a mundane, plain-looking accountant. But my leisure time is spent reading, writing and watching horror and I love Halloween. I don’t get out much thanks to a demanding job and family responsibilities, but I’ve been to Goth dances and zombie walks in the past and participated in some Lovecraftian LARPs. I’ve also helped my daughter organize some spooky parties for her friends.

What are you currently working on?

I’m in the middle of one of my dystopian novels, Dominion, at the moment as well as working on an essay for a competition, but I always have several horror ideas in the works.

Where can we find you online?

Website: http://chantellyb.wordpress.com

 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Chantal-Boudreau-WriterIllustrator/107318919341178

Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Chantal-Boudreau/e/B004O1FP2E/ref=sr_tc_2_rm?qid=1339427087&sr=8-2-ent

Twitter: http://twitter.com/chantellyb13

Scribd.com: http://www.scribd.com/chantal_boudreau

I have an entire page of links where you can access my fiction for free.  You can find the links at https://chantellyb.wordpress.com/free-stories/

Horror Addicts Guide to Life – Available now!

FinalFrontCoverHorror Addicts Guide to Life

Available now! 

Cover art by: Masloski Carmen

Editor: David Watson

Do you love the horror genre? Do you look at horror as a lifestyle? Do the “norms” not understand your love of the macabre?

Despair no longer, my friend, for within your grasp is a book written by those who look at horror as a way of life, just like you. This is your guide to living a horrifying existence. Featuring interviews with Midnight Syndicate, Valentine Wolfe, and The Gothic Tea Society.

Authors: Kristin Battestella, Mimielle, Emerian Rich, Dan Shaurette, Steven Rose Jr., Garth von Buchholz, H.E. Roulo, Sparky Lee Anderson, Mary Abshire, Chantal Boudreau, Jeff Carlson, Catt Dahman, Dean Farnell, Sandra Harris, Willo Hausman, Laurel Anne Hill, Sapphire Neal, James Newman, Loren Rhoads, Chris Ringler, Jessica Robinson, Eden Royce, Sumiko Saulson, Patricia Santos Marcantonio, J. Malcolm Stewart, Stoneslide Corrective, Mimi A.Williams, and Ron Vitale. With art by Carmen Masloski and Lnoir.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day from HorrorAddicts.net

Happy Valentine’s Day, addicts! For your reading pleasure we have a sinfully delicious, naughty tale by our friend Chantal. Enjoy. 🙂

Corvidophilia

by Chantal Boudreau

He wasn’t the first.

She remembered him as he was when she initially brought him home.  She had found him repugnant.  She had purposefully picked out the homeliest goth at the event: short, balding, pudgy, pale in a “too much time spent under office lighting” way – waxy and gray – rather than the moonlight pale of the ghostly shroud of death.  His clothing hadn’t fit properly, bulging in places and pinched in others, possibly loaners and cheap either way.

She hadn’t minded any of it.  If all went well, she knew she was going to make him beautiful.  Her prize well won.  He hadn’t failed her.  She expected flaws in the beginning.  All canvases started as stark, coarse and somewhat bumpy.  The art was in what you made of them.

The men she always chose were there in hopes of picking up some socially-awkward goth chick, maybe one into kinky sex.  They never anticipated being approached by the raven-haired beauty known by the moniker “The Tattoo Princess.”  She was a gift, a treasure found, a dream come true.  She was a legend.

Her name did not come only from the black lace and feather tattoos that adorned her pearly skin.  She was an artisan, a practitioner of the inky arts herself, renowned for her piercing skills as well.  She intimidated them, cowed them with her conviction, her presence and her unyielding sense of self.

“Come home with me.”

None of the men had ever refused her request, even if some of them appeared ready to faint at her demand.  She set out the lure and they followed without question.  She never had any trouble enticing them even though she frightened them.

She offered them her body, a willing sacrifice until she had transformed them enough that she would want them in return.  After bedding them a few times, she lied.  She told them she loved them.  If this did not drive them off, she knew she had them.  Their fate was sealed.

This one was no different.  He had stayed.

She had waited a week after her declaration of love before telling him it was over.  She wanted to make sure he was thoroughly entwined upon her hook before she reeled him in by pretending to cast him off.

“You have to go – and don’t return.  I love you, but I have needs.  I can’t inflict that kind of suffering upon you.  I’ll find someone else I don’t care about.”

He gaped at her, lip quivering.  She knew that kicked-puppy, stolen-candy look.  It always preempted their offer.

“I d-don’t mind, Princess.  I’ll suffer.  Whatever you need, I’ll do it.  Just don’t make me go.”  He paused, his voice trembling.  “What is it you want?”

She pressed the flat of her hand against the cool glass pane of her window, a gesture to the crows that stepped stiffly through her yard.  They picked at the remains or something discarded there, scavenging from weathering bones.

“I want you to be like them…my pretty bird.”

He looked confused.  They always did.

“Promise me, and I’ll show you,” she continued.  “Swear it.”

He promised, so she led him downstairs to the cage, a massive construct of blackened steel that glinted in the dim light.

“That will be your lodging until I say otherwise.  As long as I’m in the room, you’ll wear the mask I’ll give to you.  And I’ll be using the tricks of my trade to transform you.  As I said, I need this, but this is a lot to ask in exchange for my love.  You still have one last chance to leave before we start this.”

He opted to stay.  He didn’t care.  He figured he had no life in the outside world.  She offered him infinitely more, even if it might prove temporary.  Even if it might prove his end.

She strapped him into the cage, pulled the charcoal feathered and beaked mask overtop his balding head and then worked his body into sweet oblivion.  He couldn’t say “no,” nor did he want to.

She left him there to sleep, returning later with drugged food.  Sedating him made it easier for her to work.  The ones she picked never had much tolerance for pain. She began by tattooing a feathery latticework across several portions of his body.  This took days, a foggy daze for him of sex and drugs, but a happy one despite the pain.

Next came the piercings.  She used the tattoo as a guide for their spacing.  Soon his flesh was dotted with tiny metallic balls, tiny mooring points for what was to follow.  Feathers – not mere images or synthesized facsimiles but real, glossy and black.  She no longer saw his pasty skin.  The feathers were all that mattered.

He had now been her willing captive for weeks, thinner and more muscular for the number of times she had ridden him.  With the mask, tattoos and piercings he was now entirely unrecognizable.  But once she slid the split-toed boots on his feet and finished attaching the hundreds of feathers she had brought in to adorn his flesh, he took on the appearance of a giant anthropomorphic crow.  There was very little left of the repulsive little man she had lured into her home.  What he was now was magnificent – at least as far as she was concerned.

Her ruby lips parted into a triumphant smile.  The transformation was complete and for the first time since she had brought him home, she took him with a hunger and a fervor she had never displayed before.  He seemed pleasantly surprised and lay moaning blissfully on the bottom of his cage when she was done.  She left him there, giggling quietly to himself at the absurdity of his situation.  But he had entered into it voluntarily and his euphoric mind did not regret it.

She wondered how long she would be able to indulge herself before his new form would begin taking its toll.  She had a tendency to frolic in a rough way.  Skin would tear, the piercings sometimes would get infected and then there was the time she overdid the sedatives.  If she was lucky, if she showed some self-control, he might last several months.  Long enough to satiate her appetites for at least a short time.  Long enough to use him up completely before discarding him in her fenced in yard.  She eventually would.

She had done this before.  After giving up trying to find the perfect lover, she went out and found the most malleable material to make one instead.  The end results got better with each try.  This one, in fact, was the best one yet.

And he wouldn’t be the last one, either.

*************

Chantal Boudreau, an accountant/author/illustrator, lives in Nova Scotia, Canada. A Horror Writers Association member, she writes horror and fantasy, with multiple short stories and novels published to date. Her published tales of dark love include “The Godmother’s Curse” in
Postscripts to Darkness: Volume 5 and “Sanae’s Garden” in Chimerical World: Tales of the Seelie Court.  Find out more at
http://chantellyb.wordpress.com
.

 

Zomedy – Dark Humour of the Undead Kind by Chantal Boudreau

Zomedy – Dark Humour of the Undead Kind

by Chantal Boudreau

Zombies are funny.  They may be gross, frightening and tragic, but there is still something ridiculous about them, something that makes you hold back a laugh when you should be shocked or terrified.   You’ll find amusing events in even some of the goriest, angst-ridden zombie stories, usually for the sake of comic relief and to give viewers or readers a moment to catch their breath.  In some cases, like “Fido” and “Zombieland”, the entire premise of the tale is based upon dark comedy, with a variety of images of zombies doing crazy things, or constant references to silly but effective rules created to address the dangers of the apocalypse.  In the more dramatic movies, it may be just the odd moment, like when the people shooting zombies from the roof in “Dawn of the Dead” identify the zombies as celebrities like Burt Reynolds.

Zombies have always made me laugh and when I started writing zombie stories, I found humour leaching into my writing in one form or another.  My first story featured a woman feeding brains to her undead husband with a pool hook, a visual that always makes me smile.   Zomedy has become an accepted term to describe a zombie spoof, or comedic zombie film, but I think the humour of zombies goes beyond the obvious laughs and the campy (a la “Weekend at Bernie’s II”).  I thought it might be interesting to look at the more common tools of zomedy, both in written and cinematic comedic forms as well as in those genre pieces intended to offer a more serious approach to the undead.  I’ve come up with a dozen that are prevalent and easily identifiable:

Zombie puns

A good pun is the true essence of humour; even a bad one will at least elicit a chuckle or a groan.  Titles of zombie movies and stories are notorious for using puns. One of the classic zomedies, “Shaun of the Dead,” used a pun in its title as a humorous way of paying homage to the legendary George Romero. This tool is even more prominent in the written zombie genre, at least in the aspect of a good play on words.  One example of this is “Married with Zombies” by Jesse Petersen, with sequels “Flip This Zombie” and “Eat, Slay, Love.”  Not only does it capture the domestic element of the zombie stories, it also links the stories to items in current culture.

Zombie animals

Another tactic used to lighten the mood in genre books and movies is the inclusion of zombie animals.  I discovered after writing my novelette, “Shear Terror”, that there was a movie from New Zealand with a similar theme called “Black Sheep”, one involving crazy evil scientists, a wealthy farmer, animal rights activists, a man with an ovine phobia and a combination of zombies and lycanthropes (in this case were-sheep).  While the humour was cheesy in places, the gory zombie sheep attack scenes were so bizarre that they were down-right hilarious, perhaps because sheep are typically non-aggressive, so the attacks were totally uncharacteristic.  Then again, perhaps it was because sheep already have a herd mentality so becoming a zombie throng just seemed so fitting.

Zombie dogs are the most common animals in zombie movies, with “Resident Evil” and “I Am Legend” immediately springing to mind, but they don’t tend to tap into that humorous element, likely because people are more attached to dogs in general, and they can be very frightening without being undead.  The comedy comes from the unexpected, like the deer in “Slither”, another example of a zombie animal behaving in an uncharacteristic manner.  And then there are the animals that are just funny to begin with, like cows, who are popular humorous zombies in the gaming world as well as in movies like” Dead Meat.” There is even a very funny zombie cow scene in A. Lee Martinez’s book, “Gil’s All Fright Diner.”

Slapstick

Let’s face it, the walking dead are hardly coordinated, at least the shamblers aren’t, and they can take damage and still keep moving in ways a normal living human couldn’t. The physical malleability of zombies makes them a prime candidate for slapstick.  Throw them down the stairs so that their head ends up backwards or blow a gaping hole in their torso, and they keep on going, like in “Death Becomes Her.”  Apologize severely for breaking their ankle in the door, only to have them limp hungrily after you, like in “Zombieland.”  The possibilities for his type of humour are endless.  This is the true form of zomedy however, and you are less likely to see a version of this in a dramatic zombie flick.  It does not translate easily to the written page, either.  This is one of the cheapest forms of humour going, and while some movies like “Zombieland” apply it sparingly and appropriately, it is one of the fallback forms of comedy that the low budget zombie movies resort to for cheap laughs.

One-liners

No proper zomedy exists without at least one or two stinging one-liners, “Evil Dead II” and “Army of Darkness” are rife with them, but you can find the occasional witty and sarcastic zinger in even the hardest and nastiest of zombie tales.  The one-liner is as much a weapon as it is a method of adding humour to the scene.  It captures the real personality of the character speaking it in a few short words, it sometimes rebuffs a snide remark made by a lesser antagonistic character, or serves as a coup de gras when the hero has just conquered the enemy.  For example, the one-liners from Columbus in “Zombieland” are self-deprecating, but amusing nonetheless, whereas Tallahassee’s zingers are cool and over-confident.  Some critics see them as cliché or gratuitous, but I see the one-liners as a staple of the genre.

Zombie fighters with funny obsessions

Speaking of characters, it is usually the unruly and often unsophisticated survivors in the zombie apocalypse who are at the root of most of the humour.  Some of us can sympathize with their quirky yet familiar traits, and we are laughing as much as ourselves as we are at the characters.  Perhaps there is something about being particularly driven that has allowed these characters to survive in the first place, and it contributes to their appeal.  I added that obsessive element to my veteran ranch-hand, Rudy, in my tale “What a Man’s Gotta Do.”  The thing he craves would likely surprise you, but it is no stranger than Tallahassee’s yearning for Twinkies in “Zombieland.”  The heroes’ obsessions with things like video games or zombie movies often give them the kind of knowledge they need to hunt and fight zombies in the first place – a suggestion that it will be those on the fringes of society who could end up rising to the top when all goes to pot.

Over-the-top zombie hunters

Every zombie story seems to have a character who is at least a little crazy, or who has a personality so loud you have to laugh in response to their antics.  The true zomedies take that one step further and either all of the characters match that description (e,g, “Shaun of the Dead” and “Zombieland”), or there is a character so outrageous that the humour is built entirely around them, like Ash, in the “Evil Dead” series.  Then there are those in possession of some unbelievable trait, perhaps something like a gun serving as a prosthetic leg like in “Planet Terror.”  You don’t get much more over-the-top than that.

Characters in zombie books are no different.   Jenni, one of the female protagonists, earns the nickname “Loca” from one of the other characters in Rhiannon Frater’s “The First Days” because she is crazy, albeit in a likable way.  Witnessing the death of her children at the hands of her once abusive, zombie spouse is enough to drive the victimized woman over the edge.  Although she recovers from a near catatonic state, she is never quite normal after that.   She takes a perverse pleasure in picking off zombies with her gun, and the image of her swinging wildly over a group of zombies to play bait for the kill is one that makes you shake your head and grin.

Laughing in the face of sure doom

There is a scene in “Dead Snow” where the characters are facing down swarms of Nazi zombies and they resign themselves to defeat but with an edge of humour, intending to take as many with them as they can.  These scenes are commonplace in zombie films and sometimes in books, where characters realize that they are about to be overwhelmed, but instead of panicking or becoming morose, they grin and lash out, prepared to die fighting.  This resolve is admirable, but at the same time, funny.  It’s a heroic gesture, but a crazy one too.  You laugh with them as they fall, drawing satisfaction that they weren’t truly defeated, at least on a spiritual level.  The humour in this act sometimes comes from a sense of irony in written works, as those falling to the zombies contemplate their fate and find something oddly amusing about their situation.

Zombie love/camaraderie

Another comedic plot device in the zombie genre is where people are unwilling to let go of friends and loved ones after they have turned, and find ridiculous ways to cling to them after the fact.  They tie or chain them somewhere, and perhaps even allow them to play video games, as in “Shaun of the Dead.” This is one of the darkest forms of zomedy, since many people can relate to the idea of not being willing to let go of a loved one or close friend who has died and risen again.  Woman writers in particular seem to be drawn to this type of black humour, the comedy present because the viewer or reader can recognize that the zombie is nothing like the living person, but blinded by love and a sense of dedication, the character cannot see this.

Random zombie pieces in odd places

Dismembered zombie bits are plentiful in genre movies and books, but the humour comes when they end up in odd places, or take on an undead life of their own.  Some might suggest that the movie Idle Hands is an example of this, although others might argue that they are more like hands possessed as opposed to undead hands.  Nevertheless, there’s something just plain goofy about a lone finger or toe wriggling along all by itself, or a single eye peering at you from some unexpected place.  Viral zombies generally don’t exhibit this type of behaviour since they are subject to the “head shot” rule, but the supernatural ones often persist beyond amputation, as do ones reanimated by scientific means.  The Re-Animator has various body parts scuttling around independently, in one of those instances where the head shot does not necessarily signal the end for a zombie.  It’s creepy but funny, reminding us that zombies are definitely no longer human.

Zombies doing non-zombie things

Witnessing zombies doing things that should be reserved to living breathing humans is equally funny, also because they lack something essentially human and we are reminded of that by their shallow and obviously forced charades.  In “Fido,” and a select number of short stories, the power of the zombie has been enslaved to benefit mankind, and they are recruited to do the mindless drudge work that most people don’t want to do.  The zombies of “Fido” are controlled by a special technology, a collar that keeps them in check, and owning a zombie servant becomes a status symbol because of the expense involved – an amusing notion. Some people even use their zombie servants to service their romantic or sexual needs – gross, but hilarious.  The same type of humour is evident in the spoof “Zombie Strippers!”, another case of zombies doing people work with a “ha ha” factor along with the “ew” factor.

Tales from the zombie’s point of view

You would expect this kind of story to be sad, or just disgusting, but sometimes it is the lack of understanding on the part of the protagonist, or their state of denial, that brings in that component of dark humour.  In some instances, a story like this is so well-woven that it even draws on the sympathies of the readers, like the funny tale of a handicapped zombie in the story “The Hungriest Zombie”.  His state is pitiful, but laughable, and by the end of the tale you are rooting for his success.  “Ahh, Zombies!” presents this concept from a cinematic approach, a quirky but amusing zomedy. There are entire zombie memoirs out there, and even *ugh* paranormal romances centred on zombies.  I don’t think I could keep a straight face while reading one of those.

Braiiiins!!!

And finally, truly the zomedy piece de resistance, there is the familiar catchphrase or trademark cry of the zombie – brains!  This hungry plea can be found in practically every proper zomedy out there, such as “Return of the Living Dead,” and can also be heard uttered by a zombie Homer Simpson in one of the classic Simpsons Halloween episodes.  This groaned demand is not reserved for strictly humorous fare.   It sometimes serves as a moment of comedy relief in the more dramatic genre works, a chance for the viewer or reader to have that breather before returning to more serious and frightening things.

These are probably the most common comedic tales used in the zombie genre, but there are a plethora of others, many of them original and darkly delightful.  They all tend to serve similar purposes – defining the protagonists and making them seem human and likable despite the fact that they are blowing away one zombie after another, allowing for a break in the action and tension so the viewer/reader can recover from the violence and gore before charging in for more, or even allowing the viewer/reader to distance themselves from the story altogether so they can grasp the “bigger picture” often a particular social or cultural message.  The best way to get a proper sample of exactly what’s out there is to explore a variety of zomedies that the genre offers and to observe the assortment of black humour first hand.

************

zombiemepic

Aside from being a long-time fan of the zombie genre via books, movies and now TV, Chantal Boudreau began her existence as a published author with a zombie short story named “Palliative” in an anthology called “Vampires, Zombies and Ghosts – Oh My!” published by Notreebooks.  This was followed by the publication of several other zombie shorts: “Just Another Day”, “Waking the Dead”, “Escarg-0”, “Life and Undeath on the Chain Gang,” and “One Lonely Night” in the May December Publications’ anthologies “First Time Dead, Volume 1”, “Hell Hath No Fury” (all women writers), “Zero”, “Zombie Lockdown” and “Let’s Scare Cancer to Death” as well as “What a Man’s Gotta Do” in the anthology “Undead Tales” from Rymfire Books and “Deadline” in the anthology “Zombie Buffet” from Open Casket Press.  She has done extensive research for her blog series “Chantelly’s Field Guide to Zombies” and a non-fiction article on Zomedy – the dark humour in zombie fiction.  She is currently shopping a full zombie novel, Sleep Escapes Us, set in ancient Thrace and involving the myths surrounding the death god, Zalmoxis.

 

My End Was Not My End by Chantal Boudreau

My End Was Not My End

 by Chantal Boudreau

 

One briny blip

Ocean of gore

Lurching shuffles

Breathing no more

Here’s not the place

I’m meant to be

Undead flotsam

Zombie sea

 

Craving Endless

Ear-rushing roar

Starving for flesh

Longing for more

This not the way

I’m meant to be

Urgent hunger

Takes hold of me

 

Torment constant

Can’t ignore

Forced still forward

No change in store

If I could pray

I’d beg for peace

One headshot brings

My sweet release.

************

zombiemepic

Aside from being a long-time fan of the zombie genre via books, movies and now TV, Chantal Boudreau began her existence as a published author with a zombie short story named “Palliative” in an anthology called “Vampires, Zombies and Ghosts – Oh My!” published by Notreebooks.  This was followed by the publication of several other zombie shorts: “Just Another Day”, “Waking the Dead”, “Escarg-0”, “Life and Undeath on the Chain Gang,” and “One Lonely Night” in the May December Publications’ anthologies “First Time Dead, Volume 1”, “Hell Hath No Fury” (all women writers), “Zero”, “Zombie Lockdown” and “Let’s Scare Cancer to Death” as well as “What a Man’s Gotta Do” in the anthology “Undead Tales” from Rymfire Books and “Deadline” in the anthology “Zombie Buffet” from Open Casket Press.  She has done extensive research for her blog series “Chantelly’s Field Guide to Zombies” and a non-fiction article on Zomedy – the dark humour in zombie fiction.  She is currently shopping a full zombie novel, Sleep Escapes Us, set in ancient Thrace and involving the myths surrounding the death god, Zalmoxis.

A Zombie Resolution by Chantal Boudreau

A Zombie Resolution

by Chantal Boudreau

Mzombie2aking New Year resolutions has long been a tradition with the living, but shouldn’t the undead have the opportunity to better themselves as well?  We would expect their resolutions to differ somewhat from the norm, however.  While the average person might resolve to join a gym or spend more quality time with their family, such things might prove less than practical for a zombie.  Considering their nature and properties, here’s what a top ten list of zombie resolutions might look like:

  1. BRAAAAIINS!!!

Everything begins and ends with this in the realm of zombie, so would this be that big of a surprise?

  1. A regular routine of shambling

No one would envision the walking dead taking to the treadmill, but they could at least get out there and shuffle and moan more often.  They don’t have to master the Thriller routine, but practicing it could improve their coordination.

  1. Lose weight

Zombies don’t do diets – they aren’t exactly known for their impulse control – but they could shed a few extra pounds through rot and ruin.  Drop a few fingers and toes, maybe your liver or spleen,  and it’ll show the next time you step on the scale. Just don’t lose your head.

  1. Make time for the mob

Zombies don’t tend to have a family once the apocalypse strikes (although there has been the occasional exception,) not in the ordinary sense anyway.  Their new family is the zombie mob, with whom they can spend more quality time.  Avoid being the straggler left behind or you could miss out on all the fun.

  1. Become more spiritual

Zombies don’t pray or meditate, but they could hang out by the nearest church and chow down on a priest, minister or Bible study group.  That way, in addition to finding religion, they can also eat it.

  1. MORE BRAIIIINNNS!!!

Considering that this is a focal point in a zombie’s existence, it had to show up on this list more than once.  Am I right?

  1. Quit smoking

In zombie terms, this means staying clear of any open fires, flame-throwing survivalists or the odd villager’s torches. Burning is baaaad.

  1. Volunteer

zombie1While you won’t find zombies ringing a bell by the charity kettle or scooping casserole in a soup kitchen, there are ways they can make a difference.  They can be one of the select few at the forefront of the mob trying to push down a chain link fence, getting crushed up against the wire, or the unlucky shambler first in line to set off the survivor booby trap.  Come on all you zombies – step up.

  1. Be a better person

The only way this can be achieved is by zombies working harder to hide their undead state.  Hang out in shadowy areas so food in transit might not notice you’re undead until it’s too late.  Hover by water fountains, crowded parking lots and in grocery aisles with your most gory bits sheltered from view.  Or better yet, hang out behind curtains or under the blankets until prey comes to you.  Think less “zombie” and more “zombie in disguise as people.”

  1. And, of course, EVEN MORE BRAAAIINNS!!!!

To repeat, everything begins and ends with this in the zombie realm.  ‘Nuff said.

************

zombiemepic

Aside from being a long-time fan of the zombie genre via books, movies and now TV, Chantal Boudreau began her existence as a published author with a zombie short story named “Palliative” in an anthology called “Vampires, Zombies and Ghosts – Oh My!” published by Notreebooks.  This was followed by the publication of several other zombie shorts: “Just Another Day”, “Waking the Dead”, “Escarg-0”, “Life and Undeath on the Chain Gang,” and “One Lonely Night” in the May December Publications’ anthologies “First Time Dead, Volume 1”, “Hell Hath No Fury” (all women writers), “Zero”, “Zombie Lockdown” and “Let’s Scare Cancer to Death” as well as “What a Man’s Gotta Do” in the anthology “Undead Tales” from Rymfire Books and “Deadline” in the anthology “Zombie Buffet” from Open Casket Press.  She has done extensive research for her blog series “Chantelly’s Field Guide to Zombies” and a non-fiction article on Zomedy – the dark humour in zombie fiction.  She is currently shopping a full zombie novel, Sleep Escapes Us, set in ancient Thrace and involving the myths surrounding the death god, Zalmoxis.

 

HorrorAddicts.net #102, Wicked Women Writers Challenge

Horror Addicts Episode# 102
Intro Music by: Cancer Killing Gemini
Co-Hosted by Rhonda Carpenter & Killion Slade
————————

123 days till Halloween!

wicked women writers challenge
tonia brown, mary go when, d.m. slate, photo finish, lindsey goddard, what happens in vegas, stephanie lenz, the grey girl, chantal boudreau, an appetite for trouble

To vote, send an email to horroraddicts@gmail.com

Subject line: WWW

Tell us who you think wrote the best story and why.

One lucky winner will win the HorrorAddicts.net PRIZE PACK!

 

http://traffic.libsyn.com/horroraddicts/HorrorAddicts102.mp3

Find all articles and interviews at: http://www.horroraddicts.net

Write in re: ideas, questions, opinions, horror cartoons, favorite movies, etc…

horroraddicts@gmail.com

————————

h o s t e s s

Emerian Rich

s t a f f

David Watson, Dan Shaurette, Marc Vale, KBatz, Mimielle, Dawn Wood

Want to be a part of the HA staff? Email horroraddicts@gmail.com

What is horror?

The_ScreamNot long ago I got an email from an author who was upset with me because I had talked about one of her books on this blog; and I had said her writing combines horror and mystery. In her email she said that she does not write horror. She continued to say that horror is all about blood and guts and shocking people and she doesn’t do that, what she writes is paranormal mystery. I replied to her that to me, paranormal falls into the horror genre and horror can be a lot of different things, not just blood and guts.

This lady’s email really got me thinking, What is horror? I asked people in the horroraddicts.net facebook group and several people responded. One of the people who commented was Chantal Boudreau who said horror is about a lot more than gore. Chantal wrote her own blog post on what horror is which you can read here. Most of the other responses on what horror is, said that it’s a broad topic that can  be a lot of different things but basically horror is anything that scares you.

John_Henry_Fuseli_-_The_NightmareSo even though one author sees paranormal mystery as not being horror, other people say paranormal does fit into the horror genre. Paranormal includes anything that doesn’t have a scientific explanation such as ghosts, psychic powers or extrasensory perception. People are scared of what they do not understand, and since paranormal deals with the unknown, I think its horror.

I would even go a little farther with this and say there are a lot of different sub genres to horror. Comedy such as The Addams Family or The Munsters fit into the horror genre. A lot of science fiction can also be classified as horror such as Alien or The Terminator. For me personally, I think hospitals can be scary places, so a show like ER can fit into the horror category for me. Even police dramas such as Criminal Minds or The Following can be horror because these shows deal with serial killers and that definitely fills most people with a sense of fear.

To me  even though I would consider the Friday the 13th movies, which I never liked, and The Nightmare On Elm Street movies, which I loved, horror; I didn’t find them very scary. So to me something doesn’t have to be scary to be considered horror. As I’ve gotten older I find movies don’t scare me anymore but books still do. That being said I still enjoy watching horror movies but I look at them as more funny than scary. I would still throw them into the horror category though.

So to me horror just describes something that is dark, different or misunderstood, not necessarily shocking or scary. So to everyone out there, what do you consider horror? What scares you? Do you consider something horror if it doesn’t scare you? Can scary sounding music fit into the horror genre? Also what makes you love horror? Leave a comment and tell me what you think.

Meet The Wickeds of 2012

Why hello, hello Horror Addicts…are you ready to find out who will be turning your future holiday cheer into holiday nightmares this year? This year’s “Holiday Take Over” contest was kick started by last year’s crowned WWW Laurel Anne Hill. Now then shut off the lights, slide to the edge of your seat and meet The Wicked Women Writers of 2012!


Chantal Boudreau

Chantal Boudreau is an accountant/author/illustrator who lives in Nova Scotia with her husband and two children. A member of the Horror Writers Association, she has had several of her stories published in horror anthologies and as stand-alone digital shorts.  She has three novels published as of the end of 2011. Her website: http://www.writersownwords.com/chantal_boudreau/

 

Jaki Idler

Jaki Idler lives outside Philadelphia where she writes, teaches and raises two beautiful boys.

Jaki Idler is an award winning director and educator. She lives outside Philadelphia with her partner of over fifteen years and their two young sons. Her flash piece “Prenup” was Earthbound Fiction’s Earthbounder of the Month Feb 2012, and she has an upcoming story “Pawn” on Pseudopod. You can follow her writing exploits at idletruths.blogspot.com, facebook.com/Jaki.Idler, or on twitter @jaki_idler.

Jenna M. Pitman

Jenna M. Pitman is a 20-something year old from the Pacific Northwest where she attends many science fiction/fantasy/horror conventions as a panelist and guest. She has written for a variety of publications and anthologies. Most of these are currently available on Amazon others can be found elsewhere. Recently she took on the responsibility of editing the Iron Maidens charity anthologies.

She has a wonderful dog with horrible tendons named Fenris, a Great Dane named Remus, a cat dubbed Whymer Cathulhu, and the paragon of kitty-ish virtue Zillah. Her house is more than a little hairy.

Michele Roger

Michele Roger is author of novels “Dark Matter” and “The Conservatory.”  Some of her short stories are published in anthologies as well as in podcasts on iTunes.  When she isn’t writing she is performing as a harpist in the Detroit area.  You can find her atwww.micheleroger.com.

Killion Slade

Killion Slade is normally a wife and husband author team, but for the WWW Challenge, Mrs. Slade holds the reins. Killion primarily focuses in the horror genre, preferring the darker side of humor to guts & gore.

Current Publishing:  The Danse Macbre featured Robbie the Ghoulie in Feb 2012

Current Project: A paranormal thriller trilogy series, where a gaming software developer must play wicked clues inside her own online role playing game to rescue her kidnapped sisters before they become breeders for the Dhampir army.

To learn more about Killion Slade, please visit http://www.killionslade.com or Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/killion.slade  or @killionslade on Twitter

Rebecca Snow

Rebecca Snow lives in Virginia with a small circus of felines.  Her short fiction has been published in a number of small press anthologies and online.  You can find her lurking at cemeteryflower.blog.com and on Twitter @cemeteryflower.

 

Jeri Unselt

A receptionist by day and a gothgirl in mind by night.  Jeri has been writing horror since childhood.  It was in 2008 that she began podcasting her novel Inner Demons and she’s been hooked since.   Plans are being made to publish the novel in e-book form as well as podcast the prequel Inner Demons: Turmoil.  She can be found at http://www.jeriunselt.com.

Maria Violante

Maria Violante is the author of the De la Roca Chronicles, a fantasy trilogy of novellas and novels, and the Shiver Shorts line of horror stories.  When not writing, she reviews indie authors on her website, www.mariaviolante.com.  Her next major project?  Tackling life and a writing career on a semi-truck – wish her luck!

Through Darkest America and The Midnight Creature Feature

This book  may not fit the classic definition of horror but I think its one that the readers of this blog will enjoy. Its called Through Darkest America by Neal Barret Jr. Its set in a post apocalypse America several years after a nuclear war. The star of  the book is a 12 year old boy named Howie. Howie lives with his family on a farm. In this alternate reality there are no big cities anymore and there is no wildlife with the exception of birds which the holy scriptures call unclean and some strange hairy creatures called horses which are very different from the horses we know.

Howie believes that the government is always right, his dad is the wisest man around, his mother is the most beautiful woman in the world and his sister is a pest. Things change quickly though because a revolution is coming and Howie has to grow up and he quickly realizes that the world is very different place then he believed it was. Through Darkest America is a coming of age story set in a post apocalyptic world where everyone seems to have an agenda and no one can be trusted.

During the course of this book and within a short period of time you watch Howie go from a boy to a man, you see him survive a couple of horrible tragedies, fight in a couple of battles that he didn’t want to be a part of and watch him get tortured for information he doesn’t have. What makes this story great is you really feel for Howie, you feel for him as he asks his father to explain things he doesn’t understand and you are rooting for him as he tries to escape from a city during a war between the loyalists and the rebels. Through Darkest America was originally released in 1988 and  recently was rereleased through Biting Dog Press. I think this book deserves to be considered a classic.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about this book here, because I kept thinking to myself that it wasn’t really a horror novel. but when I started to read it, right away there was a scene that made me realize that this book could be considered horror just as much as it would be considered speculative fiction. At one point Howie is told by his father to go see to the stock that they are taking to be slaughtered for meat. As the author is describing the stock you suddenly realize these aren’t pigs or cows. The stock is humans. So in Neal Barret Jr’s vision of a post apocalypse America, humans are keeping other humans as food, and to me that makes this book horror.

This book is very dark and there really isn’t a happy ending but at the same time it is a very well written fast paced adventure with a lot of suspense thrown in. I loved how Howie is forced, to soon to become a man and how little by little he sees that everything he believed as a child was wrong. you also see his quest to figure out what is right in this world and a new place to call home. I highly recommend this book.

If your a hard core horror fan then you should be familiar with the books of May December publications. May December has put some great horror anthologies together that any fan of the genre can appreciate. A good example of this is an anthology called Midnight Creature Feature. In the introduction the editor, TW Brown dedicates this book  to anyone who  stayed up late to watch scary movies after their parents went to bed. This book manages to take you back to a time when you we’re a kid and you couldn’t wait for the monster to appear on screen in a horror movie.

Every story in this book has some kind of monster in it, including zombies, werewolves, golems, aliens, demons and swamp monsters. Some of the stories are funny, some are scary and some are a little bit of both. A couple of stories here could easily fit into the science fiction and action  genres as well, proving that there is a little bit of everything in this anthology.

One of my favorites in this book is The Lure by Chantal Boudreau. This one is a fishing tale where a man has a vendetta against a fish. The problem is the fish is 10 feet long with teeth the size of daggers and has powers that make it a very hard fish to catch. What makes this story great is the use of imagery and how it makes you feel sorry for the man trying to catch the fish even though he’s a monster himself.

I also loved the story The Pit by Terry Alexander. The monster in this story is a werewolf and its being hunted by a man who is hoping to get his kidnapped daughter back. I liked this one because it was an action story with a lot of gore thrown in. I also liked the two main characters and how their personalities we’re described in the story.

My two favorite stories we’re comedy with a little horror mixed in. The Spine Tingling Tale of the Crystal Golem by Tom Ribas is a funny story about a monster made of crystals reeking havoc on a small town. This story makes the point that its not easy being a soulless killing machine. My other favorite was Frightening Cliche’s by Bernie Newsome. This one follows a horror author and his wife as they try to escape from an army of swamp monsters. What makes this story fun is the interaction between husband and wife.

Another great thing about this book is before each story there is a movie poster and the art for all of them is excellent. I mainly loved this book because it reminded me of why I fell in love with the horror genre as a kid.  When I watched a horror movie I wanted to be shocked, scared and hopefully get a few  laughs. I also wanted to see a monster terrorizing its victims. Midnight Creature Feature delivers the scares and the laughs and is a book that every horror fan should read.