Morbid Meals – Curse of the Black Pearl Rum Balls

EXAMINATION

Why is the rum gone? I’ll tell ya why, Jack. We be makin’ rum balls this here fine day. I tell ya true, I found this recipe while rummagin’ around ol’ Davy Jones’s locker. He’s a big fan o’rum, so if you’re hittin’ the high seas, bring a batch o’ these rum balls wi’ ya and he might let ya sail on.

ANALYSIS

Servings: about 30

Ingredients

  • 24 Oreo cookies (whole cookies with filling)
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 2 Tbsp cocoa powder
  • 2 Tbsp molasses
  • 1/4 cup black or dark spiced rum
  • 2 Tbsp Tia Maria, Kahlua, or other coffee liqueur
  • 1 cup chopped nuts
  • Wilton Black Pearl Dust (optional)

Apparatus

  • Food processor with chopping blade
  • Medium mixing bowl
  • Plastic wrap
  • Small ice cream scoop, melon baller, or a spoon

Procedure

  1. Into your food processor add cookies, powdered sugar, and cocoa powder. Pulse on high until well combined.
  2. Add molasses, rum, and coffee liqueur, then pulse again to mix well.
  3. Add chopped nuts and pulse on low until combined. If you want large chunks of nuts, just do a quick pulse. If you want the nuts ground fine, then pulse until you no longer see the nuts.
  4. Transfer the mixture to a bowl with a lid or cover with plastic wrap. Chill in your refrigerator for about 30 minutes so that it can firm up.
  5. Scoop the chilled mixture into balls and roll between your palms to form a smooth, round ball about an inch wide.
  6. Coat each rum ball with black pearl dust. A little bit goes a long way.
  7. Chill the rum balls in an airtight container in the fridge for at least 2 hours before serving.

DISSECTION

If you don’t have Tia Maria or Kahlua, or don’t like coffee liqueur, you can just use more rum instead. I like Tia Maria because the coffee flavor compliments the chocolate. Sometimes when I make these I use only Tia Maria as it has rum as the base, but the coffee flavor can be too much for some folks.

POST-MORTEM

You can absolutely make these without the Black Pearl Dust. It can be hard to find in stores. Furthermore, the dust… gets… everywhere. You will look like a coal miner when you are finished making these with the pearl dust, and your lips and teeth will get a bit yucky, too. On a positive note, they sure are shiny. And tasty!

Why are the Rum Balls gone? I eats them all, that’s why.

Terror Trax: Valentine Wolfe

Our Season 13 theme song band is…VALENTINE WOLFE!

You might be thinking… Valentine Wolfe? Wasn’t that the last theme song band? And yes, it was. But they have written a new song just for us called “This Place is Cursed” and it fit so prefect for our Season 13 CURSED theme we had to pick them again.

Besides being our theme song band, VW has a new CD available.

Dolorosa Lachymosa is here!

Sarah has been hard at work creating music inspired by video game soundtracks (specifically, the gothic horror game Bloodborne). The result is Dolorosa Lachyrmosa, 48 minutes of dark neo-classical vocal ambient music. Right now, we’re releasing this one as digital only. If you’d like to pick up a copy, head over to our bandcamp:

https://valentinewolfe.bandcamp.com/album/dolorosa-lachrymosa

Our supporters on Patreon should have this one already-if you’d like to join us over there, you can get the digital CD, some demo mixes, some notes, and other behind the scenes access for as little as $1 per month. Join us on Patreon here:

https://www.patreon.com/ValentineWolfe

Finally, if you like what you hear, please share it! We want to share our music with everyone who’s tastes might run a bit darker, and it is always exciting to see you sharing our music, too. Much gratitude in advance!

So light some candles, draw the curtains, and enjoy Sarah’s haunting Dolorosa Lachrymosa.

 We hope you love Valentine Wolfe as much as we do!
And we look forward to their music stylings in the future!