Live Action Reviews!
by Crystal Connor
In the early morning hours of July 12, 2014 Crystal Connor, with a bowl of popcorn and a coke, settled down in to watch a movie. For the next 77 minutes her neighbors were subjected to screaming, crying, and expletive outburst…
The following is from the unedited fanpage journal chronicling the harrowing experience her neighbors were forced to endure as she watched Emily Hagins 2011 My Sucky Teen Romance
Reader discretion is Advised
Entry 2: Lol, they’re all getting ready for horror convention.
Entry 3: Yep, your preaching to the choir. That’s exactly why I am completely over anything YA.
Entry 4: LMMFAO!
Entry 5: …and Edward from Twilight has a gun.
Entry 6: #teamredhead even though I just hated her moments before.
Entry 7: LOL!
Entry 8: Really?! Your just gonna stand there…run, ok see I fucking told you.
Entry 9: Finally, a character in a horror movie who knows how to mind their own business! You don’t need to follow the body that’s being dragged down the hall…
Entry 10: Seriously?! Fat ass! You just fucked it up for everybody.
Entry 11: Your either gonna sparkle or burst into flames. LOL
Entry 12: Are you fucking serious, I wish I would be at a con and hear a panel speaker talk that way to a kid.
Entry 13: And I hate the red head again.
Entry 14: Garlic’s not gonna work…
Entry 15: But that wooden stake sure did.
Entry 16: Please, please don’t cry. Awww I wish I could hug you.
Entry 17: And que the tears…
Plotline: When 17-year-old Kate (Elaine Hurt) and her friends decide to attend the science fiction convention they traditionally go to each year, they aren’t prepared for what they find. For it is at this convention that Kate meets and falls for Paul (Patrick Delgado), a handsome teen boy and newly turned vampire. He accidentally bites her, beginning her transformation. Her friends must find a way to return Kate’s humanity while fending off the attacks of other vampires that attend the event.
Scariness Factor: Zero, zilch, zip! This romantic comedy is a family friendly ‘horror’ movie.
Gross-out/Gory Factor: This is a vampire movie, so of course there’s blood. On a scale from 1 to 5, it’s a solid 1
Complaints: Absolutely none
High Points: The fact that this movie revolved around a horror convention! I first started attending cons as a volunteer and then as a vendor after the publication of my first book. The depiction of the con culture, the people who don’t ‘get it,’ the type of people you see there, the security guards … all of it is spot on.
When Kate is ‘turned’ her friends use everything they’ve seen in horror movies and video games to try and save her. The garlic and Holy water scene made me cough up Coke I was laughing so hard.
Overall: When Em asked me to review My Sucky Teen Romance I didn’t look up anything about this movie or watch the trailer. I’m a tough customer and I can be pretty unforgiving when it comes to the myopic way in which I prefer to be entertained.
Not knowing anything about this amazing movie allowed me to enjoy it that much more. I think watching horror movies should be an ‘interactive’ activity (which is why I watch them alone) and the more I yell at the people on the screen the more fun I’m having.
I really liked this movie, with pretty good, rounded out characters, a solid storyline, special effects that weren’t over the top, and plenty to yell at the characters about it was blast!
Stars: 4 ½ Stars
Where I watched it: Netflix Streaming
Washington State native Crystal Connor has been terrorizing readers since before Jr. high School and loves anything to do with monsters, bad guys, rogue scientific experiments, jewelry, sky-high high heel shoes & unreasonably priced hang bags. She is also considering changing her professional title to ‘dramatization specialist’ because it’s so much more theatrical than being just a mere drama queen. Crystal’s latest projects can be found both on her blog and Facebook fan page at: