The Sad Cafe review by C.A. Milson

sadcafe01-225x300The Sad Cafe

Movie review by C. A. Milson

Stars: Bradley Fowler, Katie Lanigan, John LaFlambo

Directed by: Bennie Woodell

IMDB Rating: 7.0 out of 10

Plot: The Sad Cafe, brings to life the gritty world where cause and effect, life and death, love and hatred play out a delicate balance. A place where unrequited love is the driving force behind closing ourselves off from the world, and is the cause of unrelenting bitterness to the happiness that was taken from us, the happiness we long for. The Sad Cafe is, at its core, a love story…a romance tragic in all aspects. A testimony to the pain people endure in their pursuit for love and companionship.

My Tagline: Inner monologues, double dipping hitmen, and Carl Grissom….

Review: When you are enlisted to be a hit-man, there are certain things that ring true. 1. The life you once knew will be gone, and 2. Personal relationships are expendable.

This film, produced on a modest budget of $8,000 hit the mark in telling the story of one hit-man who goes from a street-kid to a crime boss’ number one guy.

Bradley Fowler plays the role of Jack. A former street kid taken in by a crime-boss and is now an elite hit-man. No hit is too big for Jack. He is given an assignment and he carries it out to the letter. That is until he is given an assignment to kill his new girlfriends’ father (who he first meets in a restaurant with Rose later that day). Knowing that he is torn between the devotion he has for Rose and his loyalty to the mob, Jack needs to make a decision that will end badly, no matter which way he looks at it. Kill the girlfriends’ dad or betray the mob? Not an easy decision to live with and one that will have consequences in the short term.

As it turns out, the daughter of our crime-boss (Selena – played by Liz Davis) has a thing for Jack, and no girl is going to stand in the way of her getting the guy she wants (Bloody princess bitch she is.  )

I will not say too much of how things play out in this film, but I will say that even some hit-men have a sense of humanity, and Bradley Fowler shows that he is actor to keep an eye on in future films.

There were some moments which did remind me of James Spader’s character (Red) in The Blacklist, which can only be a good thing 

If you like The Blacklist or The Untouchables, then watch this by all means.

VerdictThis guy is Untouchable

My Rating: 7 out of 10.

C.A.Milson is an award winning horror author of 4 books (and counting); Founder of ASJ Publishing, and seldom film producer. He resides in Melbourne, Australia and likes to spend his time in his backyard hobbyfarm of 13 chooks, and draws inspiration from the horrors that lay in wait in the darkness. C.A.Milson can be found at: www.asjpublishing.com and: www.facebook.com/C.A.Milson.Author

 

Dating A Zombie Review by C.A. Milson

dating-a-zombie

Dating A Zombie

Movie review by C.A. Milson

Stars: Jack Abele, Claudia Andrejuk, Glenn Balli

Directed by: Jack Abele

IMDB Rating: N/A

Plot: Clarence operates a Zombie termination service in Zombie Town. Believing true love can never be found he feels no remorse when he dates Zombies. To him Zombies never complain, don’t nag or talk back and are extremely happy with the way you are. Of course Clarence’s biggest love interest is Princess Betty the owner of a pet cemetery now accepting humans at discount prices. In between his romances Clarence finds time to hunt and eliminate nuisance Zombies called A-Listers. This is a hobby he thoroughly enjoys because he gets to chop the Zombie bodies up in his kitchen and sell the meat as a sideline. The action and humor keep coming as Clarence and his assistant Doofus chase and “pop” Zombies while riding around in their golf cart. You just can’t have too many Zombies running around Zombie Town when the government keeps failing to pass a Zombie retirement plan!

IMDB Tagline: A Zombie Termination Specialist tries to find true love in Zombie Town

My Tagline: Carry On Zombies…

Review: I really do not know where to start on this. For one, I do enjoy a comedy horror/spoof if it is done right. Some films of the genre do seem to break the mold when it comes to defining comedy. Other films miss the mark completely. In this case, Abele has tried to shoot for a horror comedy and missed the whole meaning of the genre “comedy”.

The film starts off, in a town riddled with Zombies. It seems that from the premise of the film, some keep zombies as pets, others just dump off the recently deceased at a fly-by-night pet cemetery-cum –funeral home.

As the plot suggests, Clarence operates an extermination company, focusing on extermination of zombies at random, and trying to get laid with every woman he comes across, living or dead. In his spare time (which he seems to have a lot of) he delivers zombie meat in pizza boxes to unaffected humans (wouldn’t the meat be contaminated?), and again, off he goes to try and get laid, with cheesy one-liners that were taken from every bad pick-up line ever.

Romance? If one defines romance as a person desperate to get laid and carrying on like a testosterone filled teen with blue-ball syndrome, then this hit the mark with that. Other than that, this flick was absolute rubbish. I could feel myself slipping into a coma watching this.

The characters were very one-dimensional at best, the props (arms, legs, and whatever else) were very amateur, and the acting? The only thing I can say about the acting is that it was obvious that the actors had very little to go on, judging by how poor of a performance they were putting on.

This film could have been a lot better for the reportedly $85,000 they spent on production.

VerdictWatch Evil Dead 3 instead

My Rating: -5 out of 10

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C.A.Milson is an award winning horror author of 4 books (and counting); Founder of ASJ Publishing, and seldom film producer. He resides in Melbourne, Australia and likes to spend his time in his backyard hobbyfarm of 13 chooks, and draws inspiration from the horrors that lay in wait in the darkness. C.A.Milson can be found at: www.asjpublishing.com and: www.facebook.com/C.A.Milson.Author