Live Action Reviews! By Crystal Connor: Otesanek
At 5pm am on March 17th, 2016, Crystal Connor, excitedly ripped open one of the red envelopes she gets twice a week grabbed some snacks flopped on the couch and picked up her remote.
This is the unedited journal chronicles the harrowing experience that her neighbors endured for hours as she screamed, cried, and shouted expletive obscenities at her television as she watched Jan Svankmajer’s 2000 Otesanek.
Reader Discretion is Advised
Entry 1: Wait, what?
Entry 2: Of course … that’s the last thing she needs to see.
Entry 3: What in the hell?!
Entry 4: Awww, man =(
Entry 5: Ha! That was shot beautifully!
Entry 6: Ok, there’s something else going on here.
Entry 7: Really, what else do you do at this point?
Entry 8: No! No, no, no…your gonna make it worse.
Entry 9: No, that wasn’t stupid that was downright mean
Entry 10: How the hell are they gonna get outta of this?
Entry 11: HOT ASS MESS!!!
Entry 12: WFT?!! So then they both saw that?
Entry 13: Nope.
Entry 14: Oh HELL NO!!
Entry 15: See, what did I tell you
Entry 16: And now they’re afraid.
Entry 17: WTF is wrong with her?!!
Entry 18: He said no. Damn.
Entry 19: Are you kidding me?! That’s a social worker, someone is gonna come looking for her.
Entry 20: Little. Ass. Girl.
Entry 21: You’re the only one who knows the truth, why would you go down there.
Entry 22: Jesus keep me near The Cross, take the wheel, or something…see!
Entry 23: What?! Whyyyyyy?
Entry 24: Of course it would be another child.
Entry 25: That’s two bodies and the police aren’t that stupid.
Entry 26: Oh my God this shit is getting out of hand…
Entry 27: As a parent tho, what do you do?
Entry 28: Sweet Jesus
Entry 29: There was an old woman! And Q the tears
Entry 30: Wow. Bravo!
Plotline: When a childless couple learn that they cannot have children, it causes great distress. To ease his wife’s pain, the man finds a piece of root in the backyard and chops it and varnishes it into the shape of a child. However the woman takes the root as her baby and starts to pretend that it is real.~ Written by bob the moo on IMDb
Who would like it: Fans of foreign/sub titled films, fantasy, drama, live action, surreal animation, stop motion, suspense fans and those who like the dark original fairy tales.
Overall: I think watching horror movies should be an ‘interactive’ activity (which is why I watch them alone) and the more I yell at the people on the screen the more fun I’m having. I’m a tough customer and I can be pretty unforgiving when it comes to the myopic way in which I prefer to be entertained. And as you can tell from my entries above I had a blast.
Let me squeeze in this tiny complaint and get it out of the way. Watching Otesanek which is also known as Little Orik, and sometimes referred to as Greed Guts is the cinematic equivalent of reading bizarro. It’s really, really wtf weird if you aren’t prepared for it, and let me tell you, I wasn’t ready. It took me three days to get into this movie and I almost didn’t watch it. Let me tell you that I am so glad I did not rob myself of this movie. Like reading Shakespeare it takes a minute to get into the rhythm of how this film is shot, but once you do you’re not going to be able to look away. It’s like watching a train that’s getting ready to crash but in slow agonizing motion.
When you make the decision to stick with this movie, at first it’s because you’re trying to figure out what the hell is going on and process the things you are being shown and like a fly in a web from this point on you’ll be trapped because quite subtly things stop being so weird and you began to care and worry about the people in this movie.
These two people so desperately want a child that it consumes their entire lives, and the lives of those around them. You can see how, why things start to go wrong.
This story is based on a Czech fairytale and knowing that this movie would be seen by an audience who may not be familiar of the story, the writers used a child to explained things to us, which was brilliant. Being the only child in a cast full of grown-ups even from the beginning the things she’s telling them aren’t believed, but early on she starts to put two-and-two together. Reading the story out loud she skips ahead and seeing where this is going she tries to intervene to change the fate of Little Orik, too young to realize that it’s her interference which sees the prophecy of the fairytale foretold.
Stars: 5 full stars
Where I watched it: Netflix
Washington State native Crystal Connor has been terrorizing readers since before Jr. high School and loves anything to do with monsters, bad guys, rogue scientific experiments, jewelry, sky-high high heel shoes & unreasonably priced hang bags. She is also considering changing her professional title to ‘dramatization specialist’ because it’s so much more theatrical than being just a mere drama queen. Crystal’s latest projects can be found both on her blog and Facebook fan page at:
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