For those of you living in Thanksgiving land, we hope you have a great one! We present for your viewing pleasure a very memorable Horror Addict celebration… You gotta love Wednesday.
Kbatz: We like to watch a Godfather Marathon.
Emz: We tend to watch all Harry Potter movies in succession. It wasn’t long when it first started… now I’ve lost count! 7 movies now? 8?
So many of us spend this day overeating, fighting with family, and napping. What do you do?
For those of you living in Thanksgiving land, we hope you have a great one! We present for your viewing pleasure a very memorable Horror Addict celebration… You gotta love Wednesday.
Kbatz: We like to watch a Godfather Marathon.
Emz: We tend to watch all Harry Potter movies in succession. It wasn’t long when it first started… now I’ve lost count! 7 movies now? 8?
So many of us spend this day overeating, fighting with family, and napping. What do you do?
Horror Addicts Episode# 150
Cure for the Holidaze Special!
Hosted by Emerian Rich
Guests: Dan Shaurette, Ariel DaWintre, Camellia Rains
Intro Music by: Valentine Wolfe
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Cure for the Holidaze
http://traffic.libsyn.com/horroraddicts/HorrorAddicts150s.mp3
Find all articles and interviews at: http://www.horroraddicts.net
Music this episode by Midnight Syndicate from Christmas: A Ghostly Gathering
https://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Ghostly-Gathering-Midnight-Syndicate/dp/B014JP8EOU
“Dance of the Sugar Plums”
“Night of the Krampus”
“Coventry Carol”
“Winter Storm”
“Up on the Rooftop”
Russell asked, he received.
holiday shopping ugliness, relative madness, horrible family experiences, helping the needy – what about me? best horror gifts, snowglobes, nightmare before christmas, vampire gifts, buffy the vampire slayer board game, walking dead glasses, they live, walking dead yahtzee, firefly yahtzee, horror gift guide, movie tickets, ulta, paxton gate, skeletons, taxidermy, bones, pirate store, diy, craft store, etsy.com, evil dead, regretsy, homemade gifts, amazon gift certificate, midnight syndicate, frankenstein salt and pepper shakers, forever knight season 3, monster fluxx, booooopoly, take friend out, chat about horror, loren rhoads, 199 cemeteries to see before you die, ipso facto, goth show, morbid curiosity, highgate cemetery in london, cremation, honoring the dead, morbid meals, zombie cookbooks, the walking dead cookbook and survival guide, flesh burgers, brains, theme song band, game, guess the thing, courtney mroch, haunt jaunts, haunted shops, restaurants, castles, crazy skeleton lady, wax works, jekyll island in georgia, spooky holiday events, escape games, serial killer in your mailbox, hellraiser, evil dead, nightmare on elm street, underworld, scream, phil rickman, dickens, king, woman in black, lucy blue the last winter night, dead mail, jeff, IT, exorcist, pennywise, stranger things, amanda, midnight texas, karysa, krampus, a christmas horror story, silent night, deadly night, jack frost, russell, post halloween depression, vincent price cookbook, danny elfman, night of the comet, ginger snaps back, the thing, snowglobe, herbig brown eyes, dead like me, reaper, new movies coming, another wolfcop, shape in the water, guillermo del toro, insidious the last key, cloverfield, winchester the house that ghosts built, strangers prey at night, ready player one, a quiet place, slenderman, the purge, hotel transylvania 3, the nun, predator, meg, cadaver, the little stranger, goosebumps horrorland, the house with the clock in the wall, edward gorey, john bellaires, Halloween H40 and more… have a great spooky holiday!
“Broken Pieces” by Valentine Wolfe
http://valentinewolfe.bandcamp.com/track/broken-pieces
HorrorAddicts.net blog Kindle syndicated
HorrorAddicts.net Facebook group.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/208379245861499
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Write in re: ideas, questions, opinions, horror cartoons, favorite movies, etc…
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h o s t e s s
Emerian Rich
s t a f f
David Watson, Stacy Rich, Dan Shaurette, KBatz (Kristin Battestella), Mimielle, D.J. Pitsiladis, Jesse Orr, Crystal Connor, Lisa Vasquez, Adelise M. Cullens, Kenzie Kordic.
Want to be a part of the HA staff? Email horroraddicts@gmail.com
b l o g / c o n t a c t / s h o w . n o t e s
Looking for some movies to watch this Thanksgiving? Here’s some suggestions that still hold true… Which one or two will you be watching this holiday?
Tasty Thanksgiving Treats!
By Kristin Battestella
Put the babes to bed and send the boys to the football game while you pour a glass of Chianti and nestle in for these demented families, cannibals, hungry werewolves, thirsty vampires, and more tasty terrors!
Children of the Corn – This original isn’t the best, and the entire series is fairly lowbrow in plot and effects. Nevertheless, all those rustling cornfields, creepy kids, and plant worship go a long way for a post-Halloween Harvest marathon. Name players come and go despite the low-budget status; and even if you’ve never actually seen all-count ‘em-seven films, you’ve probably heard of ‘He who walks behind the rows.’ I prefer Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest myself. And to think, I grew up on a farm.
Hannibal – This 2001 sequel to Silence of the Lambs obviously has big shoes to fill. Thankfully and blessedly, Giancarlo Giannini (Casino Royale) is great, and the Italian scenery is flat out awesome. Ray Liotta (Goodfellas) is sleazy and so much fun while the twisted Gary Oldman (Bram Stoker’s Dracula) is unrecognizable. Even in the shadow of prior Clarice Starling Oscar winner Jodie Foster, Julianne Moore (The Hours) shapes her own Clarice beautifully. And but, of course returning Oscar winner Anthony Hopkins is wonderful. He is without a doubt the star here, and does the most in what seems like less screen time. The one on one dialogue and action sequences are perfect, with fine suspense pacing, intelligentsia horror, class, sexy, and gore. Unfortunately, however, great the performances are in getting there, the storyline does meander. Director Ridley Scott’s (Blade Runner) ending is somewhat flat and leaves a ‘What was the point of all this?’ feeling. Nevertheless, I applaud the twisted romantic aspects and creepy for adults only production. Twilight wishes it could be like this.
The Insatiable – Sean Patrick Flanery (Young Indiana Jones) and Michael Biehn (The Terminator) are both very cool guys who, after some 
seriously great stuff, have made their share of clunkers. With that in mind, one wonders if this unconventional 2007 vampire comedy romance can pull off what is so often an uneasy mixing of genres. The mood certainly doesn’t start as horror, and the “Average Joe” life sucks montages get old fast. Actual time punch cards, full-size desktops, pop up AOL email, and typing in all caps replete with old lingo such as “shit is wack” and “word”? The funny and sexy in that anti-hip sardonic way also tries a little too hard, and the black comedy is uneven between the horror research and dark action. Some jokes work – ordering blood on the web, needing a coupon for a big bag of lime – Biehn is bemusing as a wheelchair bound vampire-hunting badass, too. However, some of the dream-esque flashes are off, and the bare minimum blood and gore and standard sweaty chick in a tank top hardly warrant an R rating. Charlotte Ayanna isn’t necessarily weak, but the character is too cute, hip, and poorly drawn to be sexy, evil, and dangerous. Miss Teen USA a vampire does not make. The end is a bit obvious, yes, and the pace never quite balances the humor and dark or seriousness. This should have been a straight horror comedy instead of some depressing mood thing – and yet this nothing stellar, direct to video fair is good for a fun late night viewing.
Medium Raw – John Rhys-Davies (Lord of the Rings) is good to start this 2010 wolf meets asylum romp. The maniacs and asylum hang-ups are indeed better than the usual haunted madhouse types, but the wolf designs are unfortunately kind of dumb. Writer/director/hero Andrew Cymek (Dark Rising) is a bit too new and weak as well, but the scary ideas and effective killing concepts are played pretty straight. Okay, so the title is totally stupid, the subtitle Night of the Wolf is even worse, the twist is a bit obvious, and there’s nothing superior here. However, the getting there is good with a few better than expected jump moments. Great claustrophobic sets allow room for dark fears to play (even if that dang title doesn’t give the film much of a chance!) and uses of red lighting, cannibalism, kitchens, and more warped fetishes add to the creepy. Modern jagged camera attempts and silly, unnecessary dream/ghost hinges over do it just a bit, but the Red Riding Hood motifs are just enough. Refreshingly not used for sexy boobs and nudity distractions, Brigitte Kingsley (W/D/H’s wife) and a surprisingly fun Mercedes McNab (Buffy) keep it all together along with X-Files alum William B. Davis. I do however, wonder why new horror movies waste time on intercutting cool credits? No one else does anymore.
Motel Hell – You just know what the secret ingredient is in this 1980 country cannibal thriller! Ironic use of hillbilly music and television evangelist Wolfman Jack contribute to the charming and quaint but disturbed feeling here – the mix of late seventies styles and early farmhouse contentment doesn’t seem dated at all. Hanging pigs and slaughterhouse gore aren’t too over the top, but enough bloody suggestion and touches of nudity and kinky accent the dark humor and bizarre yet sentimental familial relationships. Rory Calhoun (How to Marry a Millionaire) has some sick and disturbing fun here yet remains strangely endearing, heck, even likeable. Vincent Smith’s reducing the riff raff population and keeping the community fed – it all seems like a real win win, and the winking tone pokes fun at this irony without being laugh out loud. The audience can chuckle at the soothing New Age eight track music amid the escalating events and interfering romance. Who’s next? When will the good guys find out? The pig mask and chainsaw duel in the finale are stupid and not scary now, hampering the otherwise bemusing wit and multi layered action. However, all in all this is some down home simmering and well done entertainment.
Pumpkinhead – Lance Henriksen (Near Dark) stars in this delightful 1988 backwoods tale full of deepening vengeance and deadly mayhem. Late Oscar winning creature master Stan Winston (Terminator 2, Jurassic Park) directs this taut, sorrowful thriller beautifully while fellow effects designer and performer Tom Woodruff handles the gruesome titular monster. Understandably, this does make the monster look slightly Alien in stature, but the mystical resurrection and freaky pursuits remain solid thanks to the familial revenge and action torment from Henriksen. Awesome as his design work is, why didn’t Winston direct more? Sweet a character cult favorite as he is, why wasn’t Henriksen a leading man more? His predicament is instantly relatable for parents – how far would you go? Pumpkinhead does what the vengeful aren’t capable of doing, but his deeds consume them nonetheless. Perhaps the shocks, thrills, or gore here aren’t super scary, but these ends justifying the means questions are scary concepts in themselves. Yes, there’s no law enforcement, some redneck dialogue is frustrating, and the middle of nowhere witchery may be too much for viewers wanting more polish. Fortunately, there’s atmospheric red lighting and nighttime photography, and the largely outdoor happenings are perfectly dirty, dusty, and desperate – matching the very effective personal scares, dementedness, and questions on right and wrong perfectly.
A tradition at my house is to watch the Addams Family Values movie. Not only does it have the best Thanksgiving song EVER–Eat Me! But you just can’t fault Wednesday’s attention to detail.
Enjoy your holiday!
My wife tells the same story EVERY YEAR. Her mother’s turkey was so dry…
How dry was it?
It was so dry she and her brother dipped their turkey meat into their glasses of milk and the meat soaked it all up like a sponge!
The Horror!
There’s also the story of that time we roasted the turkey with the giblet packet still inside!
Then there’s two ladies from here at Horror Addicts, Mimielle and Cam, who both told me about Thanksgivings past when they, well, to put it delicately, couldn’t keep their meals down. I suspect this is actually a common occurrence thanks to the turkey and/or stuffing not being cooked completely. Remember, if your turkey is cooked with the stuffing in it, make sure the internal temperature of the stuffing is at least 165°F.
I expect that everyone has a Turkey Day Tale of Terror, but I can imagine none more so than the mothers and grandmothers who had the arduous task of cooking the beast, and all the other trimmings.
Fear not, fiends, for there is hope! Here are some tips and tricks to turn out a terrific turkey day!
Thanksgiving meal preparation can be pretty intense even without deboning and stitching together three birds. If Turkeystein’s Monstrosity is outside your comfort zone, here are some tips to help you make a terrific turkey meal.
Conservative estimates are about a pound of turkey per guest. Average sizes for turkey are 16 to 18 pounds. Obviously they come much larger than that, and your thawing and cooking time will increase as a result. This time of year you will find plenty of sales and offers for free turkeys. I have seen store-brand turkeys selling for $0.79/lb and name-brand for $0.99/lb. Obviously organic, free-range, heritage, and other varieties are more expensive.
Some stores are giving away turkeys if you spend more than $100 on groceries on one visit. An easy task these days, especially when gathering food for a Thanksgiving feast. Just know that the free turkeys are sometimes under 16 pounds and may be older stock. Frozen turkeys can last for more than a year so stores use this an an opportunity to purge their poultry provisions. They will still be good, but maybe not as good as a fresher one.
To thaw a frozen turkey safely takes time and room in your refrigerator. Adjust racks if you must, and set your unopened turkey breast-side up in your refrigerator. The turkey will need to thaw at least 24 hours for every 4 pounds of turkey. Yes, that means an average-sized 16 pound turkey will take FOUR DAYS to thaw. Your thawed turkey can stay in your fridge up to two more days before cooking.
Cold water thawing works faster but you have to change the water about every 30 minutes. It’s easier and safer to fridge thaw. For more information about safe thawing, visit the USDA website.
According to the USDA, cooking in a regular oven at 325°F, your expected cook times by weight are:
8 to 12 lb — 2 3/4 to 3 hours
12 to 14 lb — 3 to 3 3/4 hours
14 to 18 lb — 3 3/4 to 4 1/4 hours
18 to 20 lb — 4 1/4 to 4 1/2 hours
20 to 24 lb — 4 1/2 to 5 hours
8 to 12 lb — 3 to 3 1/2 hours
12 to 14 lb — 3 1/2 to 4 hours
14 to 18 lb — 4 to 4 1/4 hours
18 to 20 lb — 4 1/4 to 4 3/4 hours
20 to 24 lb — 4 3/4 to 5 1/4 hours
Remember these times are guidelines. To ensure that the turkey is safe to eat, the thigh meat should reach 180°F. If your turkey is stuffed, be sure to check the stuffing too and make sure it has reached 165°F.
If you want to use a roaster, grill, or some other method, check out this USDA page for other time scales and suggestions.
American idioms are a funny thing. For the most part you stuff a turkey with “stuffing” and bake a “dressing” as a side dish. It turns out though that this debate is regional as much as soda vs pop.
“Stuffing” is the “northern” term and “dressing” is the “southern” vernacular. By the same token, “dressing” is usually made with cornbread and “stuffing” is usually made with white, sourdough, or even rye bread. These are not hard and fast rules, just what I have encountered in having family from both sides of the Mason-Dixon line.
Myself I prefer cornbread dressing, especially as it is easier to make it gluten-free. However with the availability of good gluten-free breads, bread stuffing is once again an option for folks like me.
Now I know there’s a temptation to save time and use the instant box. With all the preparation you have to do with the birds, I won’t fault you this. However, delicious stuffing can be made quickly from scratch and it is remarkably better than the box.
When it comes to carving up the bird, there are lots of ways to tackle the tradition. The most important step is to make sure your turkey rests for at least 20 minutes after cooking before you start carving. This allows the juices to soak back into the meat, rather than just spill all over your table, leaving the meat itself dry.
A meat fork to help keep the bird steady is also vital. Finally, you will want a long, sharp knife. You may want to even have it sharpened before the big day. An electric knfie will also serve you well.
Here is a link to some instructions from Buzzfeed that will show you how to carve a turkey perfectly.
With help from these hints, we here at Horror Addicts hope you have a happy Thanksgiving holiday.
Deep in the Louisiana bayou, the Cajuns tell the tale of a mad scientist who defied nature to create a hybrid beast, from a chicken, a duck, and a turkey! Herr Doktor Thomas von Turkeystein suceeded with his tasty abomination, the turducken, and I have discovered his secret notes which I will share with you.
Resist the urge to buy the birds already deboned, unless you can also get the butcher to provide you the bones and gizzards. They will be put to good use to make stock for the dressing and best gravy you’ve ever had! Poultry that is already deboned for you can cost almost twice as much as whole. Since you are buying three birds, save your money. It isn’t hard to debone your own birds, with the right cutlery. Don’t worry though, you shouldn’t have to buy a new blade for this. A sharpener might be a good idea, though.
The secret to this is preparation and time. Buy the birds frozen at least a week in advance. Each one will need time to thaw, and you’ll want to take your time deboning them. Once deboned, they can stay refrigerated for a day or two before you are ready to cook. Do not assemble everything until you are ready to cook, in order to prevent contaminating the dressing. For other food safety tips regarding assembling your turducken, visit this USDA fact sheet.
16 to 25 lb turkey
5 to 6 lb duck
3 to 4 lb chicken
Cajun seasoning and/or seasoned salt
6 cups of stuffing (see below)
the bones, giblets, and scraps of meat from all three birds
3 oz carrots, cubed
3 oz celery, cubed
3 oz onion, chopped
1 Tbsp seasoned salt
1/4 tsp whole black peppercorns
1 bay leaf
2 cups stock
4 Tbsp cornstarch or flour
salt and pepper to taste
To thaw frozen poultry safely takes time and room in your refrigerator. Adjust racks if you must, and set your unopened poultry breast-side up in your refrigerator. Each bird will need to thaw at least 6 hours for every pound. Yes, that means an average-sized 16 pound turkey will take FOUR DAYS to thaw.
This also means you will not be thawing your birds at the same time. The turkey needs to start thawing before your duck which is followed by your chicken.
Your thawed poultry can stay in your fridge up to two more days before cooking. Poultry thawed in your fridge can be refrozen safely for use later.
Cold water thawing works faster but you have to change the water about every 30 minutes. Poultry thawed in cold water should be cooked immediately; it should not be refrozen. It’s easier and safer to fridge thaw. For more information about safe thawing, visit the USDA website.
Unless you are already skilled at deboning your poultry, you will likely want to start with your chicken and duck as a sort of practice for the turkey. The reason this will help is that with the chicken and duck you will be removing all of the bones. (It is personal preference if you want to take the skin off, too. It won’t get crispy inside, but it will flavor the meat and stuffing and help everything cook together.) When you get to the turkey, you will be leaving the drumsticks and wings on, so that once it is stuffed, it will look like a regular turkey.
Remember to save all of the bones and giblet packets. We will be making stock from these bits. Waste not, want not!
Now, when it comes to deboning, I could write out every technique and name of each bone, but if you have never done this before, those words will mean nothing, and even photos won’t really help. So, I am linking to two excellent videos that you should watch (maybe more than once) before breaking out your cutlery. This will boost your confidence and you’ll wonder why you ever paid extra for boneless meat before now.
After deboning each bird, wrap the meat in plastic wrap or save in large plastic bags and put them back in the fridge. Wash your hands, cutting board, and knife in warm, soapy water. Then move on to the next bird.
While the three birds refrigerate, make the stock using this recipe from the Morbid Meal archives.
When the stock is done, use some of it for your stuffing. The cool thing about turducken is that you can use three different stuffings if you like. If your family has those arguments about who makes the best, you can use them all!
Here are some recipes to choose from if you don’t already have a family recipe. Pick the one you like and use it, or make three different ones.
Whichever you choose, you don’t need a lot — only about 2 cups per layer, for a total of 6 cups — this is so you won’t overstuff. Any extra can be baked in a casserole seperately.
When it comes to putting everything together, you do not want the stuffing to be cold, as it may not reach the correct temperature inside. So, either assemble with warm, freshly cooked stuffing, or reheat the stuffing to at least room temperature before layering it in.
Commercial turduckens are not cheap, especially if you are not local to a butcher who makes them, because they have to be shipped and that adds to the cost. Another factor is the duck. You can find chickens year round, and sales on turkeys around Thanksgiving, but duck? Truth is, your local butcher can likely get one. Some stores sell them frozen. If you have an ethnic/oriental market near you, they will have then frozen, and maybe even fresh. If all you can find of duck is breast meat, then choose a larger chicken and layer as turkey/chicken/duck-breast.
When it came to choose a stuffing, while I really wanted to try all three in one bird, I just didn’t have the stamina or fridge space (or money). So, instead I opted for the “dirty rice” stuffing for two reasons. 1. A cajun dish deserves a cajun stuffing. 2. Dirty rice is completely gluten-free.
Now, if you make the mighty monstrosity and think you are ready for a real challenge, check out this video where some guys made…Pigcowturduckenlingdouille! (Andouille sausage, linguica sausage, chicken, duck, turkey, beef short ribs, inside a whole pig!)
When Christmas comes around, you could try your hand at a traditional Yorkshire Christmas Pie. This grand dish was layers of increasingly large fowl (imagine quail, game hen, chicken, duck, turkey, and goose) baked in a standing pie crust.
Or if you want to try something really olde school, how about acockentrice, which is the combining of a suckling pig and a chicken (a capon to be precise). Maybe von Turkeystein wasn’t so crazy after all!
For those of you living in Thanksgiving land, we hope you have a great one! We present for your viewing pleasure a very memorable Horror Addict celebration… You gotta love Wednesday.
Kbatz: We like to watch a Godfather Marathon.
Emz: We tend to watch all Harry Potter movies in succession. It wasn’t long when it first started… now I’ve lost count! 7 movies now? 8?
So many of us spend this day overeating, fighting with family, and napping. What do you do?
Catherine had been arguing with her mother telepathically. “I can see what you’re planning and you know its not a good idea.”
Agatha raised an eye brow while staring back from across the table. “And who is the crone here?”
Catherine sighed. She turned her gaze momentarily to the handsome Henry and then quickly averted her eyes. Agatha’s voice rang inside her head. “He is very handsome isn’t he? And smart. And subject to suggestion when the spell hits him just right….”
“Stop it, Mother! He’s old enough to be your son!”
“And since when has that ever stopped me….besides, I have our dear Henry here at this table and not in my bed for a reason. He will be far more useful in my plans for this evening with his clothes on rather than the alternative. Watch him in action as I prompt him to drive the tip of the knife just a little deeper into the skin of our Mr. Croswell……”
Henry filled Linda’s glass with a generous amount of wine and smiled at her. “Well of Dan doesn’t want to go on record to clear his good name regarding his warehouse dealings perhaps you have something to say?” He pushed the recorder a little closer to her plate.
Linda played up her doe eyes and replied innocently. “I only work for Mr. Croswell as his secretary. I don’t handle any of his other business transactions or accounts.”
Agatha passed him the platter of roasted beef with jalapeno and garlic glazed root vegetables. Henry hungrily at several bites and Catherine watched as the spellbound aromatics began to take effect. The spiciness inspired Henry’s tongue to be sharp while his questions delved into hotter topics. “Are you sure that is true Linda?” Henry asked with the tape still rolling. “I mean, everyone in town knows you are more than the average secretary. Officer Franklin has written you two more citations for indecent exposure in your car and in the park than any citizen has been written in the entire history of this town. Isn’t it more likely that you are really protecting not only your job but your lover?”
At this, Kim gasped but said nothing. It was as if Henry had cast his own spell and unknowingly rendered her speechless. Henry immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry Kim. I thought. Well, I thought you knew. The whole town thought you knew with you working late at the school so much lately.”
“The school open house is in two weeks” Kim was able to eek out quietly while she sat across the table in shock staring at her husband and his would be lover. Catherine quickly placed some of the spell bound food on Kim’s plate and cut a piece, feeding it to her in an awkward display of over zealous hospitality. Madame BienVenu ran her pearl necklace over the edge of her bottom lip ever so casually. Kim seemed to draw strength from somewhere inside herself. “You said you were working!” Kim spat and tears welled up in her eyes. “You’re nothing but a…a…a….a dog! “ Outside, the howling of several wild dogs was heard. Dan tried to argue but with the twisting of Agatha’s pearls, he spat more dog fur from his mouth in place of words. Kim stood up as the tears ran down her cheeks, turning to Linda. “And you’re nothing but his bitch!”
To everyone’s surprise, Dan Croswell leapt on to the table; knocking over candle sticks and sending dishes crashing to the floor. He crawled on all fours and lunged from Kim’s throat with his mouth that he sprouted large elongated teeth. In reaction, Pastor Dave put himself in between the dog man and the small framed school teacher. Catherine reacted without thinking and with a wave of her hand seemed to knock Dan down to the floor with effortless ease all the while shouting, “Bad dog!”
Linda began shouting at everyone and no one all at once. She took a handful of the tiny cheese pastries that Agatha had served along with the meat and tried to give them to Dan in an attempt to calm his rage. When she looked him in the eyes, she screamed all the louder. Kim put her hands to her mouth in horror. Henry gulped down his glass of wine and hurriedly poured himself a second and then a third as he stared in disbelief at the scene transpiring at his feet. Pastor Dave put his arms around Kim and shielded her eyes, allowing her to look away into the safety of Dave’s strong shoulder.
In all of the chaos, Catherine stood angrily with her arms crossed over the two humans who were beginning to change shape on the floor. Agatha too stood cool and calm while wearing a look of disdain. Her strand of pearls twisted in her gnarled fingers and her lips moved ever so slightly without uttering a word. Soon, the two scheming lovers were more dog in appearance than anything.
“Sit” Agatha commanded and everyone but Catherine did as they were told. “Now, you will answer my questions directly and immediately. Do you understand?” Agatha asked curtly.
Dan yelped a “yes”.
“Good”.
“Did you coerce several of the new residents in the assisted living facility out of their homes in less than honorable real estate deals?”
Dan nor Linda said anything. The two just cowered, holding on to one another.
“Yes or no?!” yelled Agatha and her gnarled finger pointed straight at Linda who immediately sprouted a dog’s tail from under her dress.
Henry gulped a fourth glass of wine and with fumbling hands, checked and rechecked to make sure his recorder was still working. Linda screamed out in pain and Dan yelled “Yes.”
“And the food your warehouse provided is contaminated?”
Dan whimpered. Henry interrupted. “That’s really not necessary. I mean I already have proof of that and the crime lab team is already filing the paper work with the judge to get a warrant for Mr. Crowell’s arrest…”
Agatha turned on Henry. Her old grey eyes were jet black. “How dare you interrupt me when I am making justice in my own house!! I care nothing for your laws!” The old woman pointed a finger at him and opened her mouth. Instead of words puffs of tiny grey feathers flew out from her lips as Catherine stomped her foot and pointed her finger back at her mother shouting a defiant “No!”
Catherine opened a bottle of what looked to be home made liquor from the cabinet to her right. “Quick!” she told Henry, Pastor Dave and Kim. “Drink this!” and she handed each of them a tiny glass. They looked skeptical of the strange red liquid in the glass looking oddly more like blood than any wine. Agatha cackled and stretched her arm out into the air. Catherine flew backwards into the kitchen, through the swinging door and the bottle in her hand could be heard smashing into shards.
But Agatha hadn’t considered the one element that she had spoken so fondly of when it had come to her cooking. Somehow, when the old woman had traded justice for revenge and good magic for that of the dark side of spells, she had forgotten herself.
The three remaining dinner guests quickly downed the shots and suddenly a warm glow filled inside of them. Kim was no longer cold. Pastor Dave stood again between Agatha and Kim and Henry had a clear head despite his too many glasses of wine. Agatha tried to curse him again and her grey hair began to sprout feathers in place of silvery strands. Picking herself up from the kitchen floor, Catherine re-entered the dining room with a small tin in her hands.
“Mother, you must and you know it.” Catherine handed Agatha the tin but the old woman shouted and cursed Catherine in furry. Feathers turned and swirled into a mini tornado at the end of the table. Catherine begged and begged as the insane storm of metamorphosis continued. “Just give them each one of these and the spells will be broken! Mother please! If you don’t ….” Suddenly, the chandelier in the room tangled into the spiraling vortex of black magic and old age and defiance and revenge. Shards of crystal and electrical current flew out into every direction. Henry and Catherine dove under the table for cover while Pastor Dave and Kim hit the floor and pulled his coat over the two of them.
Windows burst throughout the house. Catherine would later discover every wine bottle in the cellar had exploded. Pipes in the kitchen burst. The electricity finally collapsed in the surge of energy that was balled up and destroying everything it could. Every scrap of spell bound food was sucked into the vortex and as if it required more room than the house could provide, the Marvelous Madame BienVenu and her raging spirit spiraled at the window where she grew into a gale force wind like the storms that blew over the Great Lakes, sinking ships and twisting the waters. Like all storms, she blew herself out. All that remained was that of a tiny little, newly planted tree in the back yard where a grey little sparrow sat perched on a branch.
While the others sighed in relief, Catherine burst into tears……
Six months later, an invitation for Thanksgiving dinner arrived at every household in town. Henry had slowly helped Catherine to restore the old mansion to an elegant but conservative Victorian love nest. It seemed that with the help of some clever feature stories, the deceased Madame BienVenu had become a local legend and hero once she was gone. Catherine found comfort in that. She often said to Henry that she thought acceptance and respect were all that her mother had ever wanted.
The local paper had also suggested that the missing Dan Croswell and his secretary Linda were suspected of running off together to Ohio. Meanwhile, the new talk of the town was Pastor Dave and Miss Kim the school teacher. They made vows to each other in the next town over in front of the entire school assembly as well as the church congregation.
As the town gathered into the gardens of the BienVenu mansion where tables were strategically placed for optimum seating, Catherine looked out her dining room window. Henry joined her. There, just like every afternoon since for the past six months, two dogs came out of the forest and took an afternoon nap under the small but quickly growing tree where a sparrow sang until night fell. Henry pulled Catherine from the scene and kissed her. “We have a lot to be thankful for this year” he said to her as he popped an appetizer from one of Catherine’s many platters. Catherine looked up at him with slight alarm.
“How many of those have you had?” she asked.
“I don’t know, six or seven, why, what are they?” smiled Henry, not waiting for Catherine to answer as he leaned in and kissed her passionately.
Catherine giggled and pulled away. “You’re eating Kim and Dave’s honeymoon present….pastries filled with aphrodisiacs and a fertility spell.”
Henry reached over to the platter and quickly shoved two in Catherine’s mouth. “Wanna skip dinner?”
“But the whole town is here….”
Henry kissed Catherine again and she let the spell take over. As she let Henry take her hand to lead her up to the bedroom, she asked. “How did you know to eat so many off of THAT platter?”
Henry laughed. “A little bird told me.”
Michele Roger is the author of “Dark Matter” and “The Conservatory”; both horror novels. She also hosts her own podcast of short stories called “Something Wicked This Way Strums”. When Michele isn’t writing, she is performing as a solo harpist as well as in the ensemble “Bellissima Musica”. You can find both her writing and her music at www.micheleroger.com
Madame BienVenu hasn’t lost her touch in the kitchen. She has created some of the most delictable and dellish dishes for her guests. But it isn’t food she’s interested once everyone sits down at the table. Her prodical daughter watches in amazement as her elderly mother charms a handsome news reporter, defends the battered preschool teacher, and begins to cast her spell that will bring a lifetime of justice to a table. Her unsuspecting dinner guests have no idea that Madame BienVenu plans to have one last night of revenge mixed with black magic……
Having trouble with the clickable player? Here is the direct link:
http://www.micheleroger.com/Podcasts/Madame-Bienvenue-Course-1.mp3
Michele Roger is the author of “Dark Matter” and “The Conservatory”; both horror novels. She also hosts her own podcast of short stories called “Something Wicked This Way Strums”. When Michele isn’t writing, she is performing as a solo harpist as well as in the ensemble “Bellissima Musica”. You can find both her writing and her music at www.micheleroger.com
Our good friend Michele Roger is going to help us celebrate the holidays in wicked style. Today she will share several holiday horrors with us!
First up, The Marvelous Madame BienVenu: Amuse Bouche
Madame BienVenu is an old woman and an even older witch. She has spent a lifetime trying to make friends and peace with the folks of her small town. She’s been helpful in the community. She has made remedies for the sick. She’s cooked for the bake sale fund. Nothing seems to have worked. Now that her adult daughter and second generation witch has returned home, Mrs. BienVenu has decided to invite a few key townsfolk over for a large holiday meal.
Having trouble with the clickable player? Here is the direct link:
http://www.micheleroger.com/Podcasts/Madame_Bienvenue_Amuse_Bouche.mp3
Michele Roger is the author of “Dark Matter” and “The Conservatory”; both horror novels. She also hosts her own podcast of short stories called “Something Wicked This Way Strums”. When Michele isn’t writing, she is performing as a solo harpist as well as in the ensemble “Bellissima Musica”. You can find both her writing and her music at www.micheleroger.com
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