Morbid Meals Holidaze – Eating Your Way Through the Zpoc

 

The holidays are a wonderful time to get together with family and friends, but it is also a time of chaos. Imagine what would happen if during all of the holiday’s sales a zombie apocalypse occurred? That would be a very Black Friday, indeed. Surviving the Zpoc would be a whole new level of Holidaze. The thought of Pumpkin Spice Zombies frightens me more than anything.

When dealing with zombies and other apocalypses, one thing that I find is often missing is a discussion of keeping yourself fed. Sure, weapons and shelter are important. Fighting off hunger and thirst is crucial however to keep fighting off the undead hordes.

Thankfully, at this wonderful time of the year, we now have two excellent cookbooks and survival guides catering to the zombie apocalypse. It might come as a surprise that they were both written by the same author. The Walking Dead: The Official Cookbook and Survival Guide just came out this October. The same author, Lauren Wilson, also wrote The Art of Eating Through the Zombie Apocalypse: A Cookbook and Culinary Survival Guide in 2014, which I lovingly call the Zpoc Cookbook.

Both are reliable resources that read like experienced prepper’s guides. Both have thorough chapters on improving our survival skills. They aren’t gimmicks, either. I think even the Boys and Girls Scouts would learn a thing or two. Les Stroud would be proud.

The included recipes differ dramatically, however. The Walking Dead Cookbook’s recipes are inspired primarily by characters and locations from the series. (Like Carl’s Chocolate Pudding or The Kingdom’s Breakfast Cobbler.) The Zpoc Cookbook, however, has more relatable recipes but with the usual campy names. (Like The Wok-ing Dead Stir-Fry and Wasteland Cupcakes.)

In many ways, the TWD Cookbook is an updated version of the Zpoc Cookbook. The chapter structure is a bit more organized and it simplifies a few concepts. It is also, of course, packed full of references to the characters of the TV show.

One thing that the TWD cookbook has that the other lacks is a whole chapter on alcoholic beverages. The Zpoc Cookbook does have a recipe for a mead, which would be excellent for barter, but that’s it. Conspicuously absent from both is a classic Zombie recipe, though TWD has a killer drink called The Walker which looks tasty. TWD also describes how to make mead. I think they both missed the opportunity for more instructions on how to make other boozes.

For example, I was at first excited to see the recipe for Cherry Moonshine in the TWD, but this is actually just how to take Everclear and fortify it with cherry syrup. Tasty for other cocktails, true, but learning basic distillation, like say to make applejack, would be a useful skill. (Yes, distillation is still illegal in most places, but during the apocalypse, I think prohibition is going to be the least of anyone’s worries.) Distilling alcohol can be useful as a way to make fuel as well, which will be handy in a post-apocalyptic gas shortage. For that matter, distilling water would be a vital skill, but while the Zpoc briefly mentions a solar still, the TWD only discussed boiling and filtration.

While both books do cover fishing and hunting and recipes for such wild game that you might catch (each has a squirrel recipe, for example), neither cookbook heavily features recipes using the food you have foraged, grown, or preserved yourself. There was one recipe in TWD Cookbook for chocolate chunk cookies that does make use of applesauce, and later provides a recipe for making and preserving your own applesauce for stocking up during harvest season. However, the majority of the recipes assume you have a decently stocked pantry and icebox and that you are willing to use your rations. For example, I think you’d be hard-pressed to sacrifice eggs and milk to make a homemade batch of chocolate pudding rather than stock up on canned chocolate pudding. I’m sure Carl would understand.

I was pleasantly surprised that neither cookbook resorts to parody recipes or kitschy Halloween gimmicks, and thank goodness for no recipes featuring brains or “long pig”. If you would like that kind of thing, you can find my take on The Walking Dead Terminus Tavern “Human Burger” recipe here on Horror Addicts to try. But I digress.

The Walking Dead Cookbook is an excellent coffee table cookbook. The Art of Eating Through the Zombie Apocalypse is a standard paperback size which would be more practical in a Bug-Out-Bag. They would both be fun gifts this holiday season. Really the question is are you a fan of The Walking Dead or a zombie fan in general? I think The Art of Eating Through the Zombie Apocalypse may be the better resource, and it is less expensive if that matters. Both books have Kindle versions available. If you can’t decide, you can always buy both, like I did.

As Lauren says in The Walking Dead Cookbook, “Living or dead, there’s one thing that unites us all—hunger.” During the zombie apocalypse, holiday gatherings with your family, friends, and fellow survivors will mean more than ever.

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Horror Addicts Guide to Bad Lip Reading

Bad Lip Reading…have you seen these?

I was shocked recently when I was at a table of horror addicts and found out none of them had heard of these hilarious videos. We, of course, pulled out the phone and watched them immediately. I am especially fond of the “Carl Poppa” bit in this first Walking Dead one. Although, the dolphin part is pretty funny too.

 

If you haven’t got enough of Carl Poppa, the whole video can be seen in this next one.

dur dur dur dee dur…

If you’re more into Twilight (or making fun of it) there are several to watch. My favorite is this one, which spoofs Eclipse.

However, you can’t miss dad breaking up the two boys in the vid below, “Teen-Wolf, Lestat. Just chill.”

You can watch several other Walking Dead and Twilight vids at the Bad Lip Reading YouTube page.

HorrorAddicts.net 122, Dario Ciriello

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Horror Addicts Episode# 122

Horror Hostess: Emerian Rich

Intro Music by: Valentine Wolfe

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dario ciriello | glass android | mario bava

Find all articles and interviews at: http://www.horroraddicts.net

27 days till halloween

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Horror Addicts Guide to Life Author Spotlight: Garth Von Buchholz

unnamed (1)Garth Von Buchholz writes poetry and essays and has been featured on the Horror Addicts podcast before. For Horror Addicts Guide To Life  Garth wrote two articles, One is called “Vincent and Me” which is about the time that Garth got to meet Vincent Price. The other one is called “How To Become An Immortalized Author Like Poe” where Garth gets into how you can become as well-known as Edgar Allan Poe. To read Garth’s articles along with several other articles on living the horror lifestyle, pick up a copy of Horror Addicts Guide To LifeRecently Garth was nice enough to tell us what he likes about horror:

What do you like about the horror genre?

I like how the core of the horror genre is metaphysical. Horror stories or films are modern myths about something that terrifies your very soul, and they may or may not involve actual violence and death. For example, to a person who is claustrophobic, being locked into a confined space is horrifying, even though that scenario may not end in their death. And there’s a difference between horror stories and real life horror. The tortures, rapes and beheadings in the Middle East right now are just horrible — brutal, tragic and inhuman — but they are not “horror stories” until they are mythologized, e.g. as a tale about how a spirit of evil is at work in our world.

What are some of your favorite horror movies, books or TV shows?unnamed (2)

Everything by Poe. He’s the master. And I’m a fan of William Peter Blatty (Bill, why haven’t you responded to my fan letter?). I love The Exorcist and Legion, the novel that the Exorcist III film was based on. You know, I met Linda Blair in person at a film festival and she looked great and was really cool. Also, I have mad love for another lesser known William Peter Blatty novel and film: The Ninth Configuration.

Although I’ve read many Stephen King novels, I’m a huge fan of The Stand, so I’m excited about the upcoming movie trilogy. As for TV, I’m not into zombies and The Walking Dead, but I’ve read and watched The Game of Thrones series, which has some chilling horror elements…dragons, torture chambers, whitewalkers. Okay, I guess the whitewalkers are zombies.

In what way do you live the horror lifestyle?

On my Twitter it says I’m “goth by birth” because of my German name and background. But in addition to my outwardly gothic clothing and tattoos, I meditate on the Latin words “Memento mori” (“Remember death”). Even on the sunniest of sunny days when the birds are singing arias, I am constantly aware of the horrors unfolding elsewhere in this world. With that, I keep things in perspective.
unnamedAnother thing to mention — Edgar Allan Poe is an important influence in my horror lifestyle. I’ve been closely associated with the late Mr. Poe, partly because of my work on the Edgar Allan Poe 200 Project in 2009 and partly for my social media content on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ieaps) and Twitter (http://twitter.com/EdgarAllanPoe). In 2012, I was interviewed about Poe by the Washington Post (http://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/raven-cusack-try-to-capture-edgar-allen-poe-in-way-other-films-failed-to-do/2012/04/25/gIQAyLUNjT_story.html) and I continue to network with the Raven’s followers worldwide.
What are you currently working on?
In some ways I would like to be that person who writes inspiring poetry that gets repinned all over Pinterest, but my verse tends to be quite dark. This year, I’m writing more poetry because I want to publish a collection of new verse. And I’ve never written a novel before, but I started working on a strange novella called Overture that incorporates some very personal memories and even alludes to other stories or poems I have written. Then there’s my Poe-related performance art project. I’m going to be recording and publishing a reading of Poe’s The Raven because after studying it for many years I realized it’s not just a poem, it’s a dramatic monologue.
Where can we find you online?
My literary website is http://vonBuchholz.com and links to most of my social media pages are at http://About.me/vonBuchholz.  I’m not hard to find. Many of my works of poetry, fiction and non-fiction are available online, including anthologies such as Horror Addicts Guide to Life or my book of poetry, Mad Shadows. Sometimes when one of my works goes out of print I will even republish it myself to make it available again.

HorrorAddicts.net 114, H.E. Roulo

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Horror Addicts Episode# 114

Horror Hostess: Emerian Rich

Intro Music by: Valentine Wolfe

h.e. roulo | particle son | the walking dead

Find all articles and interviews at: http://www.horroraddicts.net

174 days till halloween

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Write in re: ideas, questions, opinions, horror cartoons, favorite movies, etc…

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Emerian Rich

s t a f f

David Watson, Dan Shaurette, Marc Vale, KBatz (Kristin Battestella), Mimielle, Dawn Wood, Lillian Csernica, Killion Slade, D.J. Pitsiladis, Jesse Orr.

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The Walking Dead: Season One Review

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 by C.A. Milson

There are zombie movies and TV shows, and then there is The Walking Dead.

 

The Walking Dead tells the story of Rick, his wife Lori, their son Carl, and a band of survivors who are trapped in a world gone to shit, and they will do anything to survive.

 

The series kicks off with Rick and Shane. Both of them are cops, and damn good ones at that. Although from the get-go, it is obvious that Shane is not as peachy clean as he makes out J (more of that later)

 

Early on into the piece, a high speed chase takes place down the Interstate. Rick and Shane barrel off in the cruiser and help set up the blockade to catch the crims. As luck would have it (or fate), Rick gets shot during the gun-fight and ends up in hospital in a coma.

 

Fate has a way to deal a harsh blow. And in this series, no one is innocent as a virus is released, killing all but a handful of people. But it doesn’t stop there. The virus not only takes the lives of millions, but brings them back from the dead, and the dead are hungry for one thing – blood!

 

Rick – Rick awakens from his coma, sometime after the epidemic has done its damage, and he stumbles out of the hospital to see what is left of humanity… The dead are everywhere, littering the sidewalks and streets like common trash. As he struggles to find his family in a world gone to hell, he must come to terms with the Dead been risen from the grave, and make choices he wouldn’t otherwise consider.

 

Rick has a chance meeting with Morgan. A street-wise survivor who will do anything to keep him and his son safe from the Walkers. He forms a fast friendship with Rick, and they agree to keep each other’s backs, even if it is by CB Radio.

 

In his journey to find his family, he has an unlikely meeting with one character who will become a regular on the show – Glenn. Glenn’s knowledge of the streets of Atlanta turns out to be a valuable asset, and it inevitably saves Rick from what would otherwise be his very short-lived appearance. Glenn navigates Rick to safety and after some run-ins with a horde of Walkers, (and of course hot-head Merle), Glenn takes Rick back to base camp.

 

When he does find his beloved family in the middle of the bush (but close enough to Atlanta), the reunion is not euphoric. Lori – thinking that Rick had died – had been sleeping with Shane (for some time apparently), and Shane thinks he is the one destined to keep Lori and Carl safe.

 

If the group is to survive, they will need to band together, set aside their old-world prejudices and do whatever they can to survive one day after another. For tomorrow, the Dead may just have their fill.

 

 

Along for the ride in Series One are:

Merle – Merle is the original hot-headed, trouble making SOB. A former criminal, he is extremely racist, spiteful and very cynical about everybody and everything which causes nothing but trouble between him and anyone else that he comes into close contact with.

Daryl – Daryl is the younger brother of Merle. Unlike his hot-headed brother, Daryl does have some redeeming qualities, even if he acts like a hillbilly and eats road-kill. Daryl is a survivalist, and a skilled tracker and hunter. He is also an expert with his favorite weapon of choice, a crossbow.

Dale – Dale is the ever present voice of reason in this post-apocalyptic world, even when it is not asked for. His biggest flaw is his compassion for humanity and his over-protectiveness for Andrea. Dale serves as the father-figure of the group, even if his thoughts and morals are not exactly shared by anyone else, especially Shane.

Shane – There is a lot that can be said about Shane. Unfortunately, not any of it is good J Shane is a man of action, which for him, is not always a good move. (Shoot first ask questions later). He was a Sheriff before the outbreak happened, and a good friend to Rick. Since the outbreak, he convinced Lori that Rick was dead and set-up home (in a tent) with his new family. Shane is aggressive, single minded, narrow minded and quick to pass judgment on anyone who doesn’t agree with his opinion.

Carol – Carol the meek… Carol the silent… Carol the schemer. J There is something that can be said about the quiet ones.. They are often the most dangerous.. But, I am not going to spoil anything for you here. Let’s just say that in Season One, we meet Carol, who is frequently abused by her idiot husband, Ed. Carol’s world revolves around Ed and their daughter, Sophia. What Carol lacks in confidence and self-esteem, she certainly makes up for with her empathy. As mild as she is in Season One, just wait til you see her in later seasons. J

Andrea – In her former life, she was a civil rights lawyer. It is no wonder that she doesn’t take BS from anyone, not even her father figure, Dale. Andrea is more comfortable with a gun than being in the kitchen “playing house”. Andrea is opinionated, head-strong and although a rank amateur with a gun, she soon becomes a great sharp-shooter, thanks to Shane’s teaching.

Lori – Wife to Rick and mother to Carl. In this Walker-infested world, she is determined to shield Carl from the harsh realities that surround them constantly. Self-critical and always trying to find a solution to her family issues.

Carl – Son of Rick and Lori. When we first meet Carl, he is a young boy, and already eager to be an adult. The Walkers he finds more curious than a menace, and his curiosity does land him into trouble on more than one occasion.

Glenn – As I said before, Glenn is street-smart and for the most part, quiet. He is the one most favored to gather supplies for the group. Even if his actions do land him in trouble of his own at times.

 

Season One lasted for six episodes, and ended with Rick and his group of survivors gaining access to the C.D.C., only to find out that the building is on a countdown to self-destruct.

 

Unlike other Zombie shows, The Walking Dead certainly has raised the bar on survival horror themed entertainment. The characters, they grow on you…Even the ones who are annoying and deserve to be killed off. J

 

There are other shows that have tried to cash in on the phenomenon that is TWD, but not one of them comes close to this one.

In my next review, I will focus on Season Two, Life On The Farm J

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C.A.Milson grew up in Brisbane, Australia. He is the author of 5 books; Indie Film Director/Producer; Publisher; and Marketing Consultant

 The eldest of many siblings, his interest in writing started in 1989, when he lived in a small town in Victoria, Australia. It was not until 2008 when he saw his dream finally come, when his first novel was published by a company in the US.

 His books include; “Rise Of The Darkness”; “Bloodline Of Darkness”; “Pick Up The Phone” (Under his real name of Chris Jackson); Izbranny (Russian version); and “Not So Ordinary Girl” (which he co-wrote with well-known sports entertainment writer, J.D.Rebel).

 “Phantasmalyptic” was released in 2010, which was a graphic comic adaptation of “Rise of The Darkness”. In 2014, “Rise Of The Darkness” was released for the first time as Audiobook and is available on GooglePlay, iTunes and various other online retailers

 His interests include films, foreign culture, traveling, cinema/film, mythology, cooking, Xbox, and spending time on his backyard hobby farm.

 

 

 

 

Morbid Meals – Canniburgers

MM13EXAMINATION

Have you ever wondered? You know… What does human meat taste like? Putting these recipes together has encouraged me to ponder this question. You know it was going to come up. Well, thanks to Chef Jim Thomlinson of London Mess, we now have an interesting approximation.

Jim and his conspirator, Emma Thomas of Miss Cakehead, partnered with FOX UK to create a publicity event for Season Five of The Walking Dead. They did their research — all book learning, I’m sure — into what cannibals have documented through the years what they thought human flesh tasted like. Jim’s recipe used pork, veal, and beef bone marrow. Fans of the show came to a pop-up grill in East London called Terminus Tavern and were served these burgers with some bacon ketchup on the side.

As I live nowhere near London, I decided I would attempt to make the burgers myself and share the fun. They seemed appropriate for the Death card and this episode’s discussion of zombies.

ANALYSIS

Makes 8 burger patties

Ingredients

1 lb ground pork
1 lb ground veal
1 lb beef marrow bones (or 1/4 lb bacon, minced)
salt and pepper, to taste

Apparatus

  • Large bowl
  • Meat grinder (optional)
  • Frying pan or skillet

Procedure

  1. If you have beef marrow bones, we want to use just the marrow in the bones. It is very easy to push the fatty marrow out through the bones.
  2. Mash the marrow to break it up. Set aside. Freeze the bones for later; they will be perfect for making beef stock/bone broth in the future.
  3. If you don’t have marrow bones, then bacon can be a nice substitute which adds its own familiar flavor. Chop the bacon and set it aside.
  4. If you have a meat grinder, grind up the pound of pork, then the beef marrow (or bacon), then the veal. Mix all of the ground meat together and run it all through the grinder again.
  5. If you do not have your own grinder, then buy ground pork and ground veal, and mix these together with the mashed bone marrow (or bacon) in a large bowl.
  6. Add salt and pepper and mix well to incorporate everything together.
  7. Divide the meat into about 8 patties.
  8. Drizzle a teaspoon of oil into your frying pan or skillet and heat on high until the oil shimmers, about 3 minutes.
  9. Cook the patties until golden brown on one side, about 5 minutes. Flip the patties and cook on the second side, another 5 minutes. If you have a meat thermometer, ground meat needs to reach 160°F for safety.
  10. Serve immediately with your favorite fixins.

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DISSECTION

Right off the bat you are probably thinking, “Ewww… beef marrow?!” That’s assuming you got past “Ewww… human burgers?!” Bone marrow is actually quite delicious roasted and spread on toast. I’ve had it at The Salty Sow and it is divine. This is really little more than a rich fat that adds a velvety quality to the burgers. Ask your butcher if they can get you some. My local gourmet store sold some from Rumba Meats.

If you can’t find marrow bones or soup bones at your local grocer, or if you just can’t get past the “bone marrow” factor, I think some strips of bacon would suffice. Bacon is mostly fat and the smoke and saltiness would go well. Just don’t cook the bacon before using it. Chop or grind it right up raw with the rest of the meat.

POST-MORTEM

So… what does it taste like? I don’t have Hannibal Lecter’s palate, but I quite enjoyed them. They were nothing like beef burgers, of course. The pork and veal were a nice complement to each other. The marrow brought it all together in a nice solid patty. I would definitely make these again.

Pair this with a Zombie cocktail and you will have the perfect meal for your watch party for The Walking Dead or iZombie. Hell, I’ll probably serve them again when NBC’s Hannibal premieres June 4th, 2015.